The Chronicles of the NICU

10/21/2014

These past few weeks have been some of the most mentally, physically, and emotionally draining weeks I've had in a long while. They have also been the most joyful, fulfilling, and inspiring weeks of my entire life.

Our babies are now three weeks old! We had their second check up with the pediatrician last Wednesday and we learned that Dean is 6oz heavier than birth weight! Dr. B said he was a champion! We struggled in the NICU trying to get Dean to eat- due to the crazy strict schedule down there and the fact that the babes had to have glucose tests done before and after they ate, they were on an eating schedule of every 3 hours. Mack caught on to this schedule pretty quickly.... but Dean struggled. We tried nursing, SNS, and bottle feeding... and nothing was working all that well. With the bottle we were only able to get him to eat 10-15 (mayyyyybe 20) ml. Even with the IV, his glucose levels kept going up and down- toying with our emotions! 

For three mornings in a row the nurses would talk about how they thought Dean would be discharged that day. I would always get my hopes up and then feel a major let down when later they would tell me how his glucose had dropped into the low 30s again (the goal was to get his glucose stable at least @ 50). It is really hard to emotionally connect to a little tiny, fragile thing hooked up to IVs and machines. Cords running everywhere- I was always afraid I would pull something out! 

Both babies had this type of set-up... They got to share a twin room!

Honestly, the best thing I did to connect to little Dean was to do skin-to-skin. About halfway through day 2 of NICU, I asked his nurse if that would be allowed. It felt kind of weird with the wires running all over me, but we cuddled and I sang and he slept like a log. It really was a turning point for us- he started eating better and his levels became more consistent. It's not like he instantly jumped into the 50s range and was released from the NICU... But he began improving and was released just a day and a half later!  

Mack was easier to connect with. I think a huge part of it was the fact that he was born a pound and a half bigger than Dean. Even though he had the NICU wires, too, he was less fragile-looking and felt more solid in my arms. He also caught onto SNS pretty well, which allowed me to bond via nursing. SNS stands for supplemented nursing system- there is a syringe filled with milk and a long skinny tube that you place on your chest which allows the baby to "nurse" even though his muscles aren't really strong yet. You push the milk into the baby's mouth and he eats! Vualah! Since Mack was such a good eater, he was discharged from the NICU after two days- whereas Dean was there for four. 

In the hospital, the first night Mack was with us in our (hospital hotel stay) room, I had an emotional meltdown- we were told that we couldn't bring Mack back to the NICU room (our room was on level 3 and the NICU is on level 2), so we had to split duty on the babies. I stayed with Mack in our room while AJ hustled back and forth to be with Dean. The first time we were apart during eating time, I tried SNS with Mack. Trying to do that solo was near impossible... he was crying, I was trying, and I just felt so sad that I couldn't feed him on my own. I called AJ to have him come back from the NICU to help me, and so he came. He put the milk in a bottle and fed Mack while I cried and cried. oh, hormones... After an hour I was fine. 

The hardest part about the whole NICU/hotel stay room situation was that I didn't see Dean very much for the rest of the time he was in the NICU. On the last day that we were in the hospital, one of the hospital family services personnel ladies caught wind of our difficult situation and was pretty upset that we had been told that we couldn't bring Mack back to the NICU with us. Apparently hospital policy is that we could bring Mack back and forth as long as we used the back elevator. Our nurse must have missed that policy!! She promised us that she would hold a training to make sure that stressful situation didn't happen to another family. I am grateful that other parents won't have to go through that.

Anyways- on Friday, after 4 days in the hospital, we got to go home as a family! It was a very sweet moment as I walked past my favorite nurses and exchanged smiles and waves. I love being home and I LOVE that both boys are growing well... bring on the chub!! 

Dean and Mack

Leaving the hospital! 

Dean and Mack in their crib on their first night at home c: 

I Was Peed on Today

I was peed on today- something I have been planning for since the 20 week ultrasound gender reveal that told us we were having twin boys. 

I'm gonna get peed on so much! Was one of my first reactions: combine the cliche that baby boys pee a lot on their parents and then times that by two... I knew we were in for it! 

So I've been taking precautions. I get everything ready for the diaper change before I open it up. I unravel the new diaper, pull out the diaper cream, and get wipes out and ready. So far I've had great success! Two weeks in the clear- until about an hour ago. 

He peed on me that little silly boy! I hesitated for just one second before wrapping up the new diaper and he took advantage of my delay. C: 

I always figured I would get frustrated when it happened, but I wasn't! In fact I thought it was down right comical- I chuckled and said too bad I don't have a jellyfish sting! 

(Yes, I have been stung by a jellyfish and yes, there was pee involved to help the healing process before medicine was purchased.)

But I learned something today from this experience. I can be that mom. You know, the one who doesn't freak out if there's a mess in the kitchen. Or who will take her kids out in the rain to splash the puddles without worrying about how much laundry she'll have to do later.

The one who doesn't get mad when the her son pees all over her. 

I know there will be times when I am frustrated. I know there will be times when I need to discipline for messes and not following the general rules of cleanliness... But it feels good to know I can stay calm even through groggy eyes and a groggy mind.

Seriously:: they are too cute to get mad at! Maybe I just shot myself in the foot for the terrible twos times two! We will see.

Love, 

G

The Final Countdown

I'm going to cut right to the chase::
If these babies don't come naturally this weekend, I am going to be induced on Monday!!!

This news came as a total shock to me... I always knew these babies would come soon, but the reality of  Monday, Monday, Monday is kind of freaking me out.

Now, let me explain:

At my ultrasound appointment on Wednesday, the babies weighed in at:
Baby A- 6 lbs!!
Baby B- 5.5 lbs!!
Both babies are still head down which is glooooorious!

My sister, Val, came to the ultrasound with me! It was fun to share in that experience... these babies are so lucky to be coming into a family with so much love. Both AJs family and mine are so excited and ready to shower these boys with love and kisses! lucky boys!

After the ultrasound, I had an appointment with my OB.
Unfortunately- my blood pressure was a little high.... and I was feeling nauseated and light headed. So I was taken to the room to rest for a little bit.

Once I was feeling better (the teensiest tiniest bit better) Dr. K came in. He said that he had just finished looking at the latest research for my type of twins: mono chorionic something something... basically two babies sharing a placenta but separated by a membrane. The latest research says that it is best to deliver between 36-37 weeks- so that the babies don't start fighting over the food supply (and some other doctor-y reasons). 

That in addition to the elevated blood pressure led Dr. K to feel good about delivering these babies soon!!

Soooooooo... he suggested for me to be induced on Monday! 

I totally agree with him. I feel healthy and the babies are growing well- but I know that high blood pressure can cause problems. I had my blood tested for pre eclampsia and it came back negative -thank goodness! I would have been induced that day if I had pre eclampsia! 

I also trust my OB very much. He is knowledgeable and logical regarding medical decisions, but he also takes my views and emotional aspects into account. He always says, "This is what I would say as a doctor... But this is what I would say if you were my daughter." Most of the time the two suggestions are the same- but it is nice to know that he gives me all the options before I make a decision! 

SO- now we are really getting ready for babies! We thought that we were ready... But I keep thinking of things I have to get done! It will all be fine- and everything is coming together. 

I do find that I'm more nervous about being induced than I am about going into natural labor! I don't know exactly why- but it kind of makes me hyperventilate!

Well- I'm excited. Nervous. Happy. Sore. Swollen. Grateful. And all sorts of other emotions rolled up into one.

I'll keep y'all updated!

G

THE CURVEBALL WEEK: Week 34/35

So- at what I thought was my 34 week appointment, the OB said everything was looking great! He told me to schedule my follow-up appointments for the next few weeks. I went up to the scheduling desk and said that I needed to schedule my 35 week appointment. The nurse who was helping me during the appointment overheard me and turned around. She said, "No Grace, today was your 35 week appointment!" Apparently, somewhere along the line, my due date was changed from Oct. 28th to Oct. 22nd based on the babies' growth rate! WHAAAAAT!!! This is amazing news- because our goal was to make it to at least 36 weeks... and that is now just a few days away!

Other awesome things that happened this week! 
- BOTH BABIES ARE HEAD DOWN!!! Baby B has been breech since the 20 week ultrasound... but this week he decided it was time to flip around! I am so happy because two vertex babies means a higher likelihood of a smooth delivery! They could move around at any time... but they have stayed vertex this whole week-- so I have a good feeling about it! 
- The dippy bed problem has been fixed!! It turns out that the box spring was broken in the middle, which caused the mattress to sink in. We have been sleeping in the basement in my brother's room (he is on his mission) but now we can get all set up on the main-floor bedroom! YES!
- Going along with ^, I no longer have to waddle up and down the stairs to get to our bedroom!!
- This week I made a peanut butter hot fudge brownie sundae-- using the brownie mix we found at the store and my coconut ice cream! It was heavenly!! Talk about a satisfied craving.
- I went in for my NST (non-stress test) today and they found BOTH babies' heart rates on the first try!
- I finally have all of the 'thank you' cards mailed out! It feels nice to have that done before the babies come! Also, the new stamps I got are ADORABLE... they have birds on them. c:
- We attended the Ogden Utah Temple Rededication on Sunday! It was wonderful to hear talks from church leaders. I am so grateful that temple work is moving forward!
- Mama, Emma, and I got pedicures! The lady who was doing my pedicure was so incredibly sweet! She saw how swollen my feet/legs are and let out a sympathetic sigh. THEN she rubbed my feet for twice the amount of time that Emma's guy rubbed hers! It felt so wonderful-- I reclined my chair, turned the back massage on, and practically fell asleep!
- My family phone plan has an upgrade that I am able to use! It is awesome because last year I used my UPgrade to DOWNgrade to the simplest slide-to-text phone I could, hoping to save money on the phone bill. However, a month after downgrading the bill went up due to a new policy! And because of how lame the phone is- I can't take pictures or even receive multi-media text messages! I've missed out on a lot of family pictures and texting threads because of it. Also... when I receive a notification (text or missed call) it will BEEP every 30 seconds until I dismiss the notification! This beeping has woken me up in the middle of the night... and has just been plain annoying! So this new upgrade is going to be AMAZING!! I think my phone comes in tomorrow... just in time for the babies!



The one bad thing that happened this week is my iPad just up and died. AJ plugged it in yesterday to charge and when I went to get it hours later it wouldn't turn on! I've tried different outlets, used my dad's charger, and taken it in to the Apple store... but nothing is working!! The only thing they can do for me is to get a replacement... but that will cost a lot of money since my warranty was only for a year. I am super bummed out about it- because my iPad is the only computer-type thing I own. I have to use AJ's computer now when I want to check something. Hopefully it will spontaneously work again... or else tomorrow I will send it in for the replacement. What else am I to do?

c: 
Grace

Blessings from Week 33!!

Wow- 33 weeks down and it feels great! Here are some of the good things that happened this week!! 

- I was able to Face Time with my sister-in-law and her kids, Clara and Christian! Clara is 3 now and Christian is almost a month old! They live in San Diego- so we don't get to see each other very often. But talking with Ashley Anne is always awesome! Also, she has a ton of recipes to send my way... So that makes me happy! 

- AJ and I went to the Logan Temple- we sat outside and talked for a while. It was such a gorgeous day and it was wonderful to spend time communicating!! 

- My puppy Sookie likes to sleep in our bed-- I love that doggie! 

See her snout?

- Our very good friend Kasi French came over! We had such a fun day together! She helped us so much by getting the babies' room together! The clothes are washed and folded by size, the changing table is all set up with diapers and creams!! It is all coming together little by little. 

- While Kasi was here we had a fun movie night with Chinese food! It was so fun for us all to chill in my parents room and eat the different take out dishes! 

:: Speaking of food:: 

- We had some of my favorites this week! Peach pie, peach dumplings (peach anything), Japanese curry, hamburgers, homemade tomato sauce pasta... YUM!! I love food! 

- At the grocery store we also found cake and brownie mixes that I can eat! For those who know my allergies- this is a big deal! It has been amazing, AH-MAZING! 

- AJ made me breakfast every day this week! It allowed me to sleep in! YAY! I love my husband.

AJ is getting anxious for these babies to come! I love seeing how excited he is and how giddy he gets when the babies kick! He is going to be an amazing father and I am grateful for him! 

C:

Grace

So Grateful for Week 32!

- AJ came back from Seattle!!! He surprised me a day earlier than I expected him home. It was the best surprise because I missed him a lot. A lot a lot. And I love having him home! 

- Our really good friend Danielle Woodall did maternity pictures for us!! On our drive to SLC, AJ and I had fun dancing in the car to some of my favorite songs from high school. The In'n'Out guy saw us dancing in the car and must have had a good laugh c: I am so excited to see how the pictures turned out- Danielle is super talented and the fall colors in the canyon were gooooorgeous.

- I shaved my legs! At this stage it was a pretty big undertaking, and I'm pretty vocal about how much I hate shaving my legs. But I did it because my mom found a shaving cream created for people with super sensitive skin. I figured I would try it out. I was still itchy and uncomfortable and taking Benedryl for the next few days, but hey I gave it a shot c:

- Going along with ^, I found out this week that the iron supplement that I have been taking has lactose in it! Sneaky dogs! Since I stopped taking the iron supplement, I have been feeling less itchy and irritable- so maybe that played into how miserable of an experience shaving was?

- At my 32 week appointment, the babies weighed in at right around 4lbs each!!! Grow babies, grow!  I also measured at 40 weeks- the women in my ward still say, "you don't look big enough to be having twins!" but I sure feel big enough! 

- I got all dolled up for Sunday! I curled my hair and wore earrings! I also wore the cute new shirt my mom got for me! Mom figured I needed a few cute things to wear these last few weeks. Not only do I loooove the color of this shirt, it is also super soft and cozy. Thanks mom! 

Do you see how long the shirt is? I love shirts that cover my belly, no question. 

- We got to spend some time with AJs sister, Mary, and her husband, Daniel! They live in Layton- so not too far- but we don't get to see them as much as we would like to. It was fun to chat for a little while and hear about their lives. 

- We finished canning the peaches!!! Thank goodness. Between my mom and I (mom recovering from surgery and me being super pregnant) it took way longer than expected. But dad helped early in the week and on Friday, Val came over to help, too! Val was a total lifesaver in the canning process- without her we would have failed massively. 

- My dad ran and completed the WASATCH 100 MILE ULTRA-MARATHON!! He finished in 27 hours 37 minutes and took 59 th place out of 320 runners! I am amazed that my dad can do what he does- I mean he is almost 50 years old and recovered from an ACL surgery just 6 years ago!! That man can do anything. 

Dad is the goofy looking one in the glasses- c: My "Uncle" Vernon was dad's pacer for the last 25 miles. They sure had fun together! 

- My family has been a HUGE help in getting our room set up for the babies to come! My mom has really been the genius mastermind behind it all- getting the dresser painted grey (so cute), cleaning out the closets so we have room for our clothes, and clearing out space in her office so AJ has a work space and a place for the baby stuff. AJ and dad have also been invaluable because of their energy, muscles, and willingness to help. We really have been blessed!! 

- I washed the first load of baby clothes/blankets/etc. It was so fun to go through the clothes and I am really looking forward to getting everything put away today! I am having so much fun getting ready for these boys! 

...

I know I've been nervous and anxious and flat out terrified about having twins. But the closer I get to the babies coming, the calmer I become! I am the type of girl to get stressed out over all the little details. I need everything to be planned and perfectly figured out before I can relax and enjoy the ride. It's what made me a really good event planner at BYU. I am the girl that made an itinerary for our wedding (personalized for each family member) specifying all the teeny tiny details. I am the girl who the day after Christmas 2013 started planning what our Christmas plans are for this year.

Since June, this girl has gone on a whirlwind of a roller coaster stressing out about all the unkown factors involved in our unique twin circumstance. The packing and moving. Work and housing situations. Becoming a mom and entering this new phase of life. And don't forget about terrifying bed rest. c: All of these things at the time seemed so overwhelming. 

Looking back I've realized that I've gained so much in the past few months! I've started to gain an understanding of what it means to put my trust in God and go with the flow. Without this experience, I would still be the same stressed out, wound up girlie. But now I'm learning that it's okay if I don't know exactly what is happening for Christmas... Or next summer.... Or a year from now. Heck- I don't even know exactly what will be happening next week and I've come to be okay with that! 

My knowledge that God knows best has solidified. My ability to trust in Him has developed. He knew that our babies would be the best way to teach me a lesson, and He was right. I am so grateful for Heavenly Father and His path for us. That is the biggest blessing of them all! 

Love, 

Grace

Blessings from Week 31

Well, hello there!! 

31 weeks was good for us! 

AJ got back to Logan from work/church responsibilities on Tuesday evening. Then Wednesday afternoon got the call fm Novi's CEO that he was needed in Seattle for a conference. Sadly for me, he left early Thursday morning for his week and a half long trip. 

I miss him so much. I am definitely not built for AJ to be gone for long periods of time. When we were first dating, AJ was pretty intent on being in the Army. I knew that would be very difficult for me, but I was willing to make it work. I am grateful that AJs path led him to business... A week for business trips is way better for me than deployment. 

It also gives me more respect families who are in the military or other long-trip working situations. 

So blessing #1) AJ is only gone for a week and a half... Not longer. C:

- I was able to go to the Ogden Temple open house with my Aunt Gayle and cousin Abby. When a new LDS temple is completed, it is open to the public for around a month before it is dedicated as a sacred building. This allows all people to come and see what LDS temples are all about! 

- My mom and dad are back from their 2 weeks being away!! It makes AJ being gone much easier because I have people around me... Plus mom's surgery went well- so life is good! 

- Emma cleaned the kitchen to spotless perfection! When I came home from the open house, the kitchen was clean. It was such a nice surprise! 

- Emma and I had lunch with our Aunt Diana and cousin Ashleigh! It was so wonderful to see them- especially because Diana lives in Indiana and we don't get to see her often. We had a lot of fun chatting and eating and catching up on all the things going on in our lives. 

- I am grateful for technology- being able to meet my nephew Chrisitan while living so far away.... Being able to talk to AJ while he is on his trip... And staying in contact with my friends while I'm in Logan. Technology rules! 

Not too much going on right now, but we are definitely happy!! 

Love, 

Grace

Happy Week 30

This has been a really good week.

- AJ had a vacation from work... Meaning we had a ton of time to spend together. It was so fun just to relax and recuperate together. I love my husband so much!

- We had an awesome (repeat awesome) ward activity. MASTER CHEF MYSTERY BOX CHALLENGE. We gave bags of secret ingredients to different groups and each had to make either an entree or a dessert. We had some AMAZING creations come out of those kitchens! It was so fun to cook together and eat together and talk together. I love ward activities!! 

- I met my new OB here in Logan. He rocks!! I told AJ that we may need to move to Logan permanently so that this OB can deliver all of our babies. C: He is just the perfect mix of "it's your babies, your way" and "I know what is medically best for you and your babies." We went over my very flexible birth plan (flexible because I know with twins often times nothing happens the way it was planned to), and he was on board with everything. He had advice on each point but most of it was in line with what I wanted already- sooooo I felt pretty good about that. He also was super happy with how healthy the boys and I looked! He thinks we have a good chance of making it to 36-37 weeks!! After months of stressing out about super preemie babies, it feels wonderful to get such poisitve feedback. 

Look at my baby bump grow! I'm measuring @ 37 weeks (even though I'm only 30 weeks along)

Then a few days later I had my Maternal Fetal Medicine appointment. They were just following up to make sure that no signs of twin to twin transfusion popped up in the last two weeks. And there were none! The tech doing the ultrasound and the perinatologist kept saying how healthy the boys are and perfectly they are growing c: I was pretty much beaming from ear to ear. Baby A clocked in at 3 lbs 8 oz (8 oz growth in 2 weeks) and Baby B at 3 lbs 5 oz (11 oz growth in 2 weeks)!!! They are growing so fast- no wonder I'm tired and hungry all the time! 

- I made homemade cookie dough ice cream sandwiches! I have been craving sweets lately- which is funny because for the first two trimesters sweets really had no appeal. Anyways, I saw these ice cream sandwiches on Pinterest a while ago and have been dyyyying to make them- they are just pretty expensive to make with my food allergies. But this week I finally caved and I am so glad that I did! AJ and I plowed through the first batch in a day... Emma barely got any! So last night I made some more! 

Just writing about it makes me want one. Be right back....

10 am isn't too early for cookie dough ice cream sandwiches, right? C:

- AJ and I set up the crib! It is so pretty, I love it. We found this great deal on KSL a few weeks ago (crib and mattress) and I have been really excited to get it set up. I practiced reaching in and getting something out of the crib...because I am short and the crib seemed tall... and it made this whole soon I will have two babies situation become really real. It was a happy moment for sure. 

- I got to hang out with my friend Kaitlin Shick! We made dinner, and chatted, and just caught up on life! When I lived up in Logan the summer after freshman year, she and I became good friends. We don't really get to see each other too often when I am up here for short trips... So I am really looking forward to spending more time with her while we are living here. 

- AJ and I went to the temple! It was wonderful as always. 

- My parents have this awesome bed that has a remote to raise/lower the head and feet portions of the bed. Since they have been out of town, we have been sleeping on their bed. It's nice because when I sleep on a regular bed, I have to prop my legs up with pillows to elevate them. If I change positions, the pillows fall over and aren't effective. But with my parents bed, I just use the remote to raise the feet and vualah! Elevated, not swollen/sore feet result! Plus AJ can leave his side flat so he can sleep well. I know what I'm asking for for Christmas... JK the bed is super expensive.

- OUR NEW NEPHEW WAS BORN! Christian Spencer Fuller (son of Spencer and Ashley Anne Fuller) was born Friday, August 22, 2014!!! He was a little over 7 lbs and has a lot of hair. C: 

Now they are home and Christian's big sister Clara is ecstatic! We video chatted with them yesterday and it was clear how much she loves her brother. San Diego really is too far away. I'm seriously considering making the drive (but I'm pretty sure my doctors wouldn't be thrilled about the trip c:). 

This week was full of happy things. I am grateful for it.

Love, 

Grace

My Twin Baby Bump

I am 30 weeks pregnant... but my baby bump measures at 37 weeks!

Since I have nothing to compare this pregnancy to- I've been thinking a lot about how different this pregnancy is than future pregnancies will be!

Here are few things I have noticed so far:

I haven't been able to see my feet for weeks.
I don't know when it is normal to stop seeing your feet... but keep in mind I stopped being able to see them around 23 weeks!

I mean... I guess I can see them if I bend over far enough c:

My feet/ankles are swollen all. the. time.
When AJ and I flew to Japan, my feet swelled up like balloons! It was painful and I could barely put my shoes on!
This has become my norm. Every day I cycle through putting my sandals on in the morning, hoping and praying that they will still fit! When I take off my shoes later, I have the braided rope pattern imprinted on my poor little (or I guess not so little) feet.
AJ has been lovingly rubbing my feet for weeks and weeks helping the swelling to go down. Now-a-days compression socks hardly do the trick! The best way I've found is to keep my feet elevated (especially while I sleep).

I am always hungry.
The other week AJ and I were at Noodles & Co. with AJs mom. I ordered Pad Thai with pork and it was deeeeelicious!
After scarfing down the dinner, we chatted for about 30 minutes and decided it was time to get going. We were going to run an errand or two before we got home. I felt embarrassed (but got over it quickly because of how hungry I knew I would be soon) and I mentioned that I was going to be hungry again before we finished our errands. I ordered a second Pad Thai- this time with shrimp! I took it to go and about 45 minutes later I scarfed it down, too!

Sleeping is uncomfortable.... and it has been for a while.
I was on Facebook about a month ago and saw that my friend had posted a picture of her adorable baby bump at 31 weeks. She had to hold her shirt down in order for the bump to be really accented. The caption read something like, "31 weeks! Sleeping is starting to become a pain- I can never find a comfy position!"
I chuckled.
I was 26 weeks and I had already been dealing with the big bump discomfort for weeks!! Sleeping soundly is a thing of the past- replaced with bathroom breaks and waking up with a sore back/neck. I guess I am being prepared for when these boys come and keep me up at night c:

Every week more clothes don't fit.
When my friend Erika was pregnant, she didn't start wearing maternity clothes for a while. Towards the end of her pregnancy she wore the maternity clothes- so I was thinking the same thing would happen to me.
Around 12-13 weeks in, I no longer fit into my pants. My mom and I had gone shopping for maternity pants around 10 weeks (when I first told her I was pregnant). I was SURE that the clothes would sit on my shelf for months before I had to start wearing them. lies.
I remember the first time I wore maternity pants- they felt amazing! I couldn't believe I had kept squeezing into my pre-pregnancy pants because the stretchy ones felt soooo good. I could breathe and move and dance if I wanted to!
I also remember waiting to wear some maternity clothes for so long that once I did put them on they didn't even fit! we had a good laugh at that one. One of my favorite maternity skirts I never got to wear. It makes me look forward to wearing it during my next pregnancy though c:
I boxed away my non-maternity clothes one at a time as they stopped fitting. First the pants and skirts, then the shirts, then the dresses (length is an issue- even if the dress is super flowy... it no longer goes to my knees!!). Now I am having to do the same process with my maternity clothes. Each week I pack one or two more things (pants a few weeks ago and shirts mostly these days) that no longer fit or cover up my bump. I am only 30 weeks along and my wardrobe is becoming scarce!

I already do the preggo-waddle.
A guy in the office next door to me said, "You're walking pretty gingerly these days." That was at 24 weeks and its only gotten worse.

Occasionally I don't fit places/do normal things.
On Sunday I tried to go into a bathroom stall at church that was too small-- I couldn't get in and close the door around my pregnant belly! I had to use another stall!
Two weeks ago, AJ and I got into the car. I reached my arm to close the door and couldn't reach! I was stuck in my chair and couldn't get enough momentum to propel me close enough to the door to close it either. AJ had to come around and close it for me!
I can no longer bend over in the car to "pop the trunk" open. AJ has to come around to the window and do it.
There is a bed at my mom and dad's house that I have deemed the dippy bed. This bed has a dip in the middle of the mattress and if you lay on the edge of the bed you sort of roll into the dip. Anyways- I can no longer sleep on the dippy bed because once I get into the dippy bed I cannot get out. I roll into the middle (stopped by my belly) and due to the angle cannot roll back over to get out. This becomes an inconvenience when I have to pee in the middle of the night and have to wake AJ up to help me out of bed. its pretty funny, actually.
I was sitting at the dinner table one day and Kaylie and Dallas were about to sit down. I moved over a chair so they could sit next to each other... but when I tried to sit down in my new chair I couldn't fit between the wall and the table! We had to scoot the table out a foot so that I could fit in that chair c:


These are the sort of things that have been my twin pregnancy normal for weeks, but probably won't happen until towards the end of my singleton pregnancies. Since I have never been pregnant before- I don't have any real life experiences to gauge the differences.
In some ways this makes the inconveniences easier because I don't know any better. c:

And despite being uncomfortable... I wouldn't change a thing.

Blessings from Week 29!!

WOW~ what a week!! Week 29 has brought some of the hardest and happiest times.

The hard stuff revolved around AJs work. His company has this amazing opportunity to go to Seattle for the semester and take part in a Microsoft accelerator program. Microsoft is providing full time employees to help Novi succeed. This all happened in a matter of two weeks and it forced us to make a major decision- do we move to Seattle or stay in Utah?

First let me mention that 3 Novi tem members are moving to Seattle and 3 team members are staying in Utah. We have decided to stay in Utah.

Monday and Tuesday were both focused on making and coming to terms with the decision. There were pros and cons for the decision to stay. Most of them revolved around AJs ability to grow with the company versus the complicated situation with the twins coming. We decided through prayer that we should stay in Utah- however that decision means that AJ takes a backseat role this semester while the Seattle guys take lead.

Initially this was really hard for AJ. Though the decision doesn't affect equity or pay, he felt gipped that by doing what is best for our family he had to give up leadership and responsibility at work. For two days we really struggled with this. Following the prompting to stay in Utah seemed like a punishment. However, once AJ spoke with the Wade (the CEO) he realized that taking a backseat this semester may be exactly what we need. He will want/need time to spend helping me with the babies. Also, by having less responsibility at work he is able to take paternity leave once the babies come (what what!!) and really enjoy learning how to be a dad.

I would have really struggled in Seattle- but we would have made it work. I am just grateful that we have been able to see the benefit for our family by staying in Utah. Once the Microsoft accelerator is over, AJ will take some of his responsibilities back and things will go back to normal... or as close to normal as we can get with twins c:

Blessings:
- My birthday was this week! I had so much fun- the day was the perfect mix of relaxing and fun-filled. First, I went to lunch with our cousin Christy and her daughter Abby! We tried a Thai place in Provo and it was awesome. The lunch special portion size was huge and I even had enough for... drumroll please... leftovers!
*note: I have not had leftovers in quite a while because I eat and eat and eat. c:
Then I took a nap which was wonderful, and afterwards Stefani Mortensen and I got a pedicure! It felt amazing. I have been dreaming of getting a pedicure for a while now to soothe my poor feet! It did not disappoint! I got a sparkly blue polish (cause I am having boys) and Stefani went craaazy and got green instead of her usual coral/pink. I loved spending time with her. Our husbands get along so well- sometimes I think they have the same brain- and the 4 of us love to hang out. It was good to spend some time with just Stefani, though. I am grateful we had the chance to develop our friendship independent of our husbands!!
When AJ got home from work- we went to the temple! This has become one of my favorite birthday activities and I think it is something we will continue to do for our whole lives. It is good to step out of the me-me-me attitude of birthdays and remember that its just another day. The temple does that for me- it helps me remember that there is so much more than presents and cake! 

- AJ and I had breakfast with my Aunt, Gayle, and cousins Abbey and Ethan! It was really nice to catch up and to get her advice on the whole Seattle situation. 
- As a surprise birthday gift, AJ planned a dinner with friends! He planned it for the day after my birthday so it really was a surprise c: Oh my oh my oh my it was so much fun!! We hung out in Kaylie and Dallas's backyard, ate Hawaiian haystacks, and played with the puppies. It was the perfect gift!! 

- We moved to my parents house in Logan, UT! It has been fun to hang out with my lil' sis Emma, chill on the porch with my puppy-doggie Sookie, and get things ready for the babies!! 

- Our frame stroller came!!! I am so excited for this thing- it fits folded up in our trunk and when it's in use the car seats clip in to frame. I love it! 

- I went to see my new OB in Logan. It went so incredibly well- I could not have asked for a better OB. He instilled confidence in my ability to carry these babies to 36 or 37 weeks! I feel on top of the world and I believe that these boys will be born big and healthy! 

Much love, 

G
 

Blessings from Week 28!!

WOW! 28 weeks.

The fact that I can say, "I am 28 weeks!" is a blessing in and of itself!! When I was put on bed rest at 22 weeks, I thought that 28 weeks seemed so far away. But hey hey hey I made it!

This week was AWESOME- nothing too amazing in particular happened... but just the general feeling of the week was wonderful.

- I had not one but two ultrasounds! I had one on Monday and the babies were looking healthy. I texted my OB about the babies and he asked me if I had seen the Maternal Fetal Medicine group at the hospital. I hadn't been to see them and he was really surprised- i think its time you go in- he said. Apparently I should have gone in to see them a while ago....... oops. c: He scheduled an appointment for me.
Basically the MFM group does more in depth ultrasounds for high risk pregnancies. With the twins sharing a placenta they are at risk for something called Twin to Twin Transfusion... therefore I am considered high risk.  
The ultrasound with the MFM went really well!! The babies were stubborn and wouldn't show their faces- so the tech had to dig into me (which hurt) but they are big and healthy! 3 lbs and 2 lbs 11 oz!! I am ecstatic! They also show no signs of Twin to Twin Transfusion! I am feeling so blessed with not only how healthy I feel but also with how healthy these babies are. Life is happy and good.
- No more bed rest! I was officially given the go ahead to live my life normally again!! The OB also said that I can go on a 20 minute walk per day! It feels so wonderful!
- I also spoke with my OB about moving up to Logan. Call me crazy... but we have come to the conclusion that moving now makes WAY more sense than waiting for the babies to be born before we move up. I mean... moving not only ourselves but two babies and their stuff and trying to get it all set up right after they are born? no way jose. I asked the OB about moving- gave him the pros and cons of it- and asked his advice.
He said to go for it! 
His reasoning is that the support we will get in Logan with family (especially in the latter part of my pregnancy) will be crucial. He also mentioned that I have to develop a relationship with a new OB anyways (sadly, he is switching clinics) and so now is a great time to make the move. I am so glad I received his support- it makes the move so much easier!
- My aunt gave us deeeelicious peaches which I used to make peach raspberry cobbler!!!!!!! Oh my oh my oh my delicious. It didn't last very long.
- My niece Clara turned 3! She is just the cutest thing on the planet and in a few days will have a baby brother! I CANNOT WAIT!!
- I had brunch with my friend Sarah Riley! We lived kitty corner to each other for almost a year- and we didn't realize it until just a few months ago! I wish we had realized it earlier/taken advantage of the close proximity before because now I am moving to Logan and she is moving to Washington... so I am bummed that we won't be closer.
- AJ and I went to see our friend Stefani at her BYU dance major Senior Showcase! She choreographed the opening piece- it incorporated dance and the visual arts. Her dancers were drawn live by artists on stage. It was awesome! Stefani also danced in the last number. She really is a gorgeous dancer.
- Sunday was just the perfect day. AJ and I got home from church and spent the evening just relaxing. We watched the movie Fireproof, which was wonderful. It really made us grateful for our relationship and grateful for our faith.

All in all it was a great week!
c:

It Poured Cats and Dogs and Blessings in Week 27!!!

Here's why::

- I felt just plain old healthy! I mean my feet hurt a lot- but otherwise I felt great! I love feeling happy and healthy! I think this has something to do with my new mantra "Positive Thoughts!" I've come to realize that positive thinking can relieve stress and help my mind focus on how good I feel. The past few months I've been so stressed and scared about the worst-case scenario that I haven't really been able to focus on feeling good. This week I decided that attitude is everything- and it worked for me. C:

- the boys kicked a LOT this week. I love feeling them punch my organs! It means they are growing stronger.

- I had an ultrasound today in preparation for week 28-- the boys are doing well! Baby A is 2lbs13oz and Baby B is 2lbs5oz. Baby A is vertex and spread out all over my left side which leaves little room for Baby B! He is scrunched with his legs up by his face! Poor boy! His butt is in Baby A's face though- I think that's pretty good payback! 

Baby A profile

Baby B profile

- we had our Hyde Park baby shower and it was wonderful! I love the support of the ward up there! I lived in that ward for the summer after my freshman year at BYU and since have been to visit only. Still the ward is so generous and kind to us! The friendships I made years ago with the relief society members is still strong and I was amazed at the love and excitement they showered us with! Not to mention the good food! 

(Side note: I love the boys in my family! My dad, AJ, and Ryan all came to the shower. Ryan was initially grumpy gills because it was an all girl shower-not by necessity, just because I didn't think boys liked baby showers. When my sister arrived, she told me that Ryan wanted to come and so we called him! It was so fun to have the boys there- and I think I will do co-ed baby showers from now on! It was fun to celebrate with AJ and not just be the sole recipient of love and well-wishes!!!!)

- we have received generous help in so many ways throughout this pregnancy! This week we felt especially grateful for a note that a good friend left. I am amazed constantly how people are inspired to do/say exactly the thing that we needed- God is good and He inspires people. We are blessed to be surrounded by people who follow spiritual promptings. 

- I got compression socks! My feet have been swollen and sore for too long! I ordered some socks online and then Kaylie (remember the awesome couple we are living with) saw a great deal on compression socks when she was buying scrubs!! So I was able to save some money! Wahoo wahoo!! 

- while we were in Logan this weekend we got to spend some good time with family! On Saturday we all went to brunch! My little sister is prepping for college and has been working a crazy loco amount! I was so happy she had Saturday morning off and we were all able to be together! We went to Herm's and I got corned beef and hash. Oh my saliva! It was so so so good. I could eat that every day and never get sick of it! C:

- church was moved to 12:30pm! This past year our ward started at 8:00 am and AJs meetings started at 7am! Now his meetings start at 10am! We are lucky dogs able to sleep in! 

- I found a way to use the leftover green cabbage in curry! It's been sitting in our fridge for a while because I only have one recipe that I use green cabbage for....but we found a way! And it actually tasted delicious in the curry- I may make it a permanent addition! 

- my birthday is next week- just looking forward to it made me happy! 

- we had Sunday dinner with the Parker's! We had a great gospel discussion and I was so grateful for their insights into certain topics. I definitely learned a lot! 

- my hair looked great the other day ... And I didn't even do a thing. I got out of the shower, brushed my hair, and put it in a bun. When I took it out it looked like I had curled it and I felt great! I'm going to try to duplicate the look! 

- it's August! 

- ALSO-- it literally poured cats and dogs here in Provo!! I love the sound of a storm. It reminds me of growing up in Indiana... Man oh man it makes me happy! 

Basically I'm just a happy camper. Feeling super blessed, healthy, and happy. I know as we focus on the good things, we see more and more of the good things! Isn't that amazing? 

Love, 

G

Meltdown #2: The Highs and the Lows of Week 26

Week 26 was a hard one for me. Physically I felt fine... healthy even... but emotionally it was rough. I began to notice that I was sinking into a general state of gloom on Monday- and I tried to pull myself out of it! I read the scriptures and prayed. I baked muffins and checked things off of my to-do list and did everything I could think of to un-gloom myself.

Everything except talk about it.

Unfortunately, I had allowed all this emotion to build up inside of me and on Thursday just unloaded it all on AJ. A waterfall of tears and incoherent "I don't know"s bombarded the sweet man after work. He just held me and let me cry.

And after days of gloom I realized what was wrong: my life is about to change.

I am beginning to realize that this is a common theme for me. I go through waves of total acceptance and total freak-out-stress-out about the fact that my life will never be the same. I felt this was when we were expecting just one baby. oh woe is me... my life will never be the same... I would think to myself as I wallowed in self pity. For some reason it was easier to pull myself out of that mode as I thought of my sister-in-law who was able to maintain an awesome normal life when she had baby Clara.

Then we found out about the twins. For a while the overarching stress of finances, living situation, health concerns, and two babies clouded any other concerns. But now that I am beginning to wrap my head around those initial concerns- other ones creep in and take their place. For example: my life is about to change.

Not in the, "I am going to be a tired mess for the first few months" kind of way. Not even in the, "I can't work with two babies" kind of way. I am realizing it is much less... and much more than that.

It all started with the grocery store.

Now-a-days I tire out so easily. My feet swell up to the size of balloons and it is painful to walk. Sometimes my feet even hurt when I am sitting down- they constantly feel like they are bruised! I try to elevate them as much as I can, but even if I sit normally for 15 minutes the swelling and pain return. what the heck?

Anyway. I needed to go to the grocery store last week and so I went. Thinking to myself that I am a strong and capable woman- I can do the grocery shopping by myself! Plus, I know the store like the back of my hand and have (in the past) completed the shopping errand in 20 minutes flat. AJ was out of town for work and so I went to the store. Unfortunately- I can't walk as fast as I would like.. so it took longer. My feet were already swollen... and so it hurt walking up and down the isles. My big belly is... big... so getting anything from the bottom shelf was a pain.

By the time I was in the check out line, I was SO DONE. The very kind manager must have seen the wearied look on my face and put all my groceries on the conveyer belt for me. Without that act of kindness, I probably would have cried.

But once I got home and crashed on the couch I started to feel gloomy. I started thinking about all of the other normal things that will no longer be normal or easy for me. Sure-- this painful stage of pregnancy won't last forever. But once I am back to my "normal" self we will have two babies that will make any semblance of normalcy difficult for a while.

I will no longer be able to make a quick run to the grocery store- without having to gear up and get out of the house with two babies.
I will no longer be able to- at 9pm- decide to run to AJs work party and hang out- without finding a babysitter or taking the boys with us.
We will no longer be able to go on a spontaneous date night and sit and talk for hours without any concern of where we need to be next.
I will no longer be able to go to the Temple on a moments notice when I feel the need for extra strength (this is even hard to do now because of how tired I get...).

Its these little, silly, normal parts of our every day life right now that I realized last week I will miss.

And I almost feel like I realized it too late.

If I had the vision of where I am at now a few months ago- I wouldn't have taken grocery shopping for granted! I would have taken every opportunity to go to the Temple and to make a dinner for someone in the ward. I would have gone on more spontaneous dates with AJ and we would have lived-up our summer more. I know that life will change. And after my freak-out-and-cry session last week I have come to terms with it.

Why? Because life won't be the same because we will have two babies. Two precious sons of Heavenly Father who will make our lives chaotic and wonderful. And yeah- I am going to miss my normal life... but I wouldn't miss out on the chance to become a momma just to be able to run to the store and grab bread whenever we need it.




Blessings of Week 26:::
- Realizing that my life will be better with two babies
- Spending time with AJ
- We made homemade biscuits and gravy!!! YUM!
- I also made blueberry muffins... they saved me during my period of late-night hunger!
- The baby shower in Provo was on Saturday. I was so blessed to spend time with friends and hear their advice and encouragement! Melissa did an amazing amazing amazing job planning the whole thing! Love that woman.
- Saturday I also got to spend time with my mom! We went shopping for baby stuff (by the last store I was wiped out and sat in a big comfy glider chair the whole time. AJ and momma had to bring the things over to me to look at/approve!!). I love my mom.
- My brother and sister-in-law recommended two books to us... and we were able to find BOTH at the library! It was a blessing to not have to wait for/buy the books.
- We had dinner with our friends Stephen and Stefani on Sunday night. It was so nice to spend time with them!!!!
- AJ traveled safely to and from NYC. He did give me a good scare when he wasn't where he said he would be when it was time to pick him up.... anyone who talked to me that night can attest: I was a mess! c:
- Novi completed their Kickstarter campaign and raised around $175,000!! Which is over twice the amount they had originally hoped to raise!
- My BFF Sammie's b-day happened. Love her.

Much love,
G

Week 25: Blessings

So.... I am flying solo for the next few days.

AJ is in NYC! His company, Novi Security, is being featured on this Wednesday's episode of 'Live with Michael and Kelly!' AJ won't be on TV, but he got to fly the prototype out to avoid the risk of it breaking. This show guarantees a lot of company/product exposure, so we are feeling pretty good about that! C: I'm such a proud wife!

Blessings::

- since it has been so hot in Utah the past little while, it has been easy to drink enough water! I'm meeting my goal (within a few ounces) every day! 

- frozen strawberries.... Enough said! 

- I made Rice Krispie treats with some marshmallows I found at the health food store! The package cost an arm and a leg, but they are delicious! 

- I got a little bit of a tan from when I was locked out of the house on Tuesday morning. I sat in the sun for a bit and then moved over to the shade! It ended up being a good experience-- I didn't have my phone or iPad (or anything for that matter) so I had a lot of thinking time. I was able to really enjoy the peace and quiet because I probably won't get much of that once the babies come! C: I am a lucky woman, too, because AJ came home 30 minutes earlier than I was expecting- so it was only 3 hours instead of 3.5! 

- AJ and I went on a date to Red Robin...YUM! I have been craving their fish'n'chips for the past few weeks and it was so good to satisfy that craving! Not to mention all the wonderful conversation we had.

- the boys had an all out epic battle of kicks and punches today. It felt good to have so much movement going on- sadly they have been sleepy the past few days and I haven't felt them very much. I was starting to get worried until the epic battle began! 

- I straightened my hair today. It's the little things c:

- my friend, Abigayle, made us a strawberry/rhubarb pie. It was amazing.

- AJ and I went to the temple! We love the peace that we feel there!! 

- I'm still feeling healthy! 

- AJ and I went to visit his Grandpa in a nursing home in AmFork. He recently moved here from Indiana with AJs Grandma! The last time we saw him was when we visited him in the Indiana nursing home 2 years ago! Grandpa's communication is pretty limited- but AJ knows how to get a reaction- AJ likes to tease Grandpa! He tried to tell Grandpa that we were democrat and Grandpa chuckled and said, 'no.' He also got pretty excited when I told him about the twins. C: 

- I went to my friend's baby shower. It was so much fun- and I met some really sweet people there, too! 

- Stephen and Stefani brought over a sweet spontaneous gift today- a foot spa package! Oh man oh man- my little (or not so little) swollen feet definitely need a spa treatment! I am SO looking forward to using it! 

- there is a German shepherd puppy staying in the backyard for a week...in addition to the choloate lab who lives here! AJ was in Heaven. Every free second he would slip away and play with the dogs. It was so cute to see him pet and tease and get all starry-eyed over the doggies.

I'm just feeling happy. 

It is easy to get caught up in the stress of what is going to happen. All the unkown factors lurking about- so I am constantly reminding myself that God knows best.

When I am able to remember that God knows best, it is easier to have an attitude of gratitude! 

Love, 

G

Week 24: Blessings from the milestone week!

I am feeling a whole heck of a lot of relief....

I am officially 24 weeks!! 

This is big news. The babies are now at a point of development that is considered safe. If the boys are born now, they will survive and have a better chance of being healthy!!!! 

Thank you bed rest.

Now my task is to keep these babies gestating for as loooong as possible. The longer they are in eutero, the chubbier and better developed they are at birth! 

I did some research the other day about babies being born at various levels of gestation and the time that they subsequently spend in the NICU. 

what was I thinking??? 

It totally freaked me out, while at the same time informing me so that I can be mentally prepared for the best... and the worst case scenarios. 

(These numbers are based on various readings of twin mom experiences and also medical websites)

Babies born at 30 weeks gestation spend approximately 8-10 weeks in the NICU. 

Babies born at 33 weeks gestation spend approximately 5-8 weeks in the NICU.

Babies born at 35 weeks gestation (the average gestation time for twins, btw) spend approximately 4-5 weeks in the NICU. 

Babies born at 37 weeks gestation spend approximately 0-2 weeks in the NICU.

*disclaimer- there are always other factors going into NICU time. Some of these numbers may not be your experience, and some women shared stories of big, healthy twins born at 34 weeks going home 5 days after birth. These stories were the exception most often.*

It was really good for me to put this in perspective. I used to think, "oh even if my babies are born early... They will go to the NICU but probably come home after just a few days or a week or something." Not so, sister! I am nervous now because... obviously... I don't want our babies to spend the first weeks/months of their lives in the NICU. However. it makes the reality of the benefits of resting and being healthy so much clearer.  I am so much more motivated to do all the things I am supposed to do- increasing the chances of their safety. 

Anyway: onto the blessings from week 24!!

- I was put on a lighter form of bed rest! Wahoo wahoo. I basically was told to listen to my body and follow that as a guide- without going back to the amount of activity I was doing before I was put on bed rest... So my limit is two(ish) activities a day. My problem is that I'm doing more around the house and doing more activities.... For example- today we went to church and had lunch with a friend (2 activities) but then we got home and I organized and made dinner, etc. So by the end of the day I am EXHAUSTED by doing so much. It was hard this week to navigate my physical activity with everything going on. This next week I am going to do a better job at resting more and not pushing myself to the limits again. 

- I was stopped at the store and told "you are such a cute pregnant lady!" by some random gal. I love her for that! 

- I was actually feeling up to getting dolled up today! 

I curled my hair and everything! 

- AJ and I took time to organize our room this weekend. We have been living out of random boxes and suitcases and it feels SO GOOD to have an organized space. 

- AJs mom came into town this week! We were able to spend some time with her and we sure had fun! She also got us the cutest baby clothes. The onesies say, " handsome like daddy" c: 

- we had delicious delicious food this week! 

- I was able to see Erika (one of my best friends- she and I roomed together for 3 years and she now lives in Montana... Sad life). She came to visit with her new baby! 

All in all... Life has been good this week! 

This is me week 22::

This is me week 24!!! Look at that bump grow! 

Another pic... This one is from today.

Much love,

G

PS::

Remember that time last year when AJ and I were in Japan? We had so few responsibilities, no money, and we were living the dream! I can't believe how far we have come in just one year! I love my man.

My Support System

It's 4:30 am and I woke up starving. Because I'm supposed to limit stair use, I asked AJ if he could grab me a PB/honey sandwich. And he did. I love the support that he gives me. 

I have been thinking a lot about the kind of support I have received lately::

First and foremost is AJ. The man who didn't complain once when I was vomiting last week and keeping him up all night. He woke up when I needed him with such an acute sense of determination to help me feel better. I love him for that. He is the man who makes me breakfast every morning before he goes to work- and he does the dishes at night when I'm exhausted from cooking. He rubs my feet without complaint and he is patient with me when I ask him for the millionth time to fill up my water bottle. He gave up his entire Saturday to make sure that I was okay- and sat with me even when I was half asleep. 

I love my man.

Second is my family. It's the 'no questions asked' kind of support. Whatever we need- whatever we may need- has been offered to us. A home to stay in once the babies are born, and 24 hour support to help us become acclimated to twins. Delicious allergy-free food and a never ending supply of chocolate almond milk. Conversation and clean bed sheets. I'm so grateful for my family.

Third is our ward. I love the friendships we have developed within our ward. There is a desire to serve that just oozes from the PUMS 12th ward. They are always aware of our needs and don't take no for an answer! Sometimes it is hard for me to ask for help ( or even accept it when it is offered). I like to be independent.... But our ward members can see through that to my real need. Once- I tried to convince the Olesons that I didn't need help... And they looked around and said, "we will be back in 5 minutes so we can change our clothes." 5 minutes later they came back and brought help! Within an hour whey had done what would have taken AJ more time than we anticipated! Another instance, Stephanie  convinced me to leave AJs keys with her while he was out of town. The next day I was put on bed rest and in Logan for the rest of the week. When we came home, she had cleaned and packed as much as she could. What did we do to deserve such an awesome ward!? I could share a few more stories of the sincere, selfless service that we have seen over and over again. I'm so grateful right now! 

Fourth is friends in general! From Kaylie+Dallas letting us stay in their basement to friends that come over to chat when I'm bored...We have a great support system here. I don't know how in he world I would be able to handle being on bed rest without my friends. We receive support from thousands of miles away to right upstairs. I'm happy and grateful that we have been blessed with such good, caring, and lasting friends. 

I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father and for Jesus Chirst. Their love and guidance have been a MAJOR support and just what we needed this past month. The blessings we have been given come from our God. He loves us and cares for us enough to put people in our lives to help us. He also knows what we need and freely blesses is in those specific ways. 

Without Them, we would be lost. 

I am grateful. I feel loved. I know that we are cared for and protected. 

Much love, 

G

Blessings from week 23

- Sunday night I was very sick. I must have eaten something that didn't settle because I was up all night vomiting. I was blessed with a loving (and handsome) husband who took care of me!!

- Monday was a big big big day! With all the last minute packing and moving- we were really blessed with people in our ward to help us out. Also, my aunt/uncle, cousin, other aunt and her kids came over with homemade chicken noodle soup! Such a blessing because I was still feeling sick, but it settled so well! 

- we sold the love sac! Thank goodness.

- we also officially moved in to our friends basement, SUCH A BLESSING. 

- bed rest can occasionally be boring. I was blessed to have some friends come by this week and keep me company. 

- I was told I can work from home! Huge financial and beat-the-boredom blessing.

- AJs company reached 100k on Kickstarter! 

- AJs sister/ brother in law Laura and Cody visited from Arizona! His other sister/ brother in law Mary and Daniel came down from Layton and we got to spend some wonderful time together! I love holiday weekends! 

- the. Harrops ( the family I used to nanny for) came to town and we had dinner together!!!! It was amazing to say the least. I love them. 

-church today was very inspiring and insightful- I am grateful for the Spirit I felt today. 

- the babies are still healthy and growing. 

All is well. 

Blessings from week 22

I figured it would be a fun idea to post on Sunday some of the blessings I have received. 

Week 22:: 

Got a good belly shot! Look at that bump! 

Shared a room at my parents house with my niece Clara. 

We had a blast! Cuddles and crackers every morning.

Okay so not a good pic... Buuuut

I got my hair done and I LOVE IT. 

- spent ko-ality time with my family! I love them!

- supported my dad in the marathon that he ran- all in prep for his 100 miler later this year. Such a cool guy!

- AJ got back safely from his work trip.

- AJs company Novi Security launched on Kickstarter on Tuesday and has almost reached their funding goal! (The goal was originally expected to take a month to reach.... And so far it has only been 6 days!!!)

- our babies are healthy

- my friend Stephanie kicks butt at knowing how to serve me best. We came home to a spotless kitchen and packed pantry! Champion. 

- hung out with my friend Amy- she always makes me happy

- received such an outpouring of love and offers for service. 

- finished visiting teaching

- was introduced to the show Falling Skies

- am feeling cool, calm, and collected about learning to be more flexible with my plans c:

Well- feeling blessed and loved.

Good night 

C:

THIS IS NOT A HORROR STORY OF A WOMAN WHO WENT ON BED REST @ 22 WEEKS

THIS IS NOT A HORROR STORY OF A WOMAN WHO WENT ON BED REST @22 WEEKS. This is the story of what I've learned that has changed my entire perspective on this 'mom of multiples' thing. 

Here goes:

(( I'm feeling a little frustrated because I wrote like half of what I wanted to say- and then it got deleted.

But still it important so I will write it again. ))

So after writing about my meltdown- AJ and I thought for a few more days about what our living situation plan of action needed to be. AJ was very adamant about doing all we can to save up money for these boys-  once these babies come, who the heck knows how much they will actually cost! 

So we basically nixed finding our own place for now and decided to do a combination of moving to our friends basement for a while and then living up in Logan for a few months after these boys are born. Here is how it all should go down.

Step One: get all of our non-baby stuff into a storage unit... and move all baby stuff to my parents house. 

Step Two: move our bed and clothes to our friends basement-- we can stay there in Provo until the boys come (so that AJ doesn't have to commute to work and so I can keep working my jobs for as long as possible).

Step Three: once these babies decide it's time to say hello to the world... And once they are released from the hospital... We will move up to my parents house in Logan and live there for a couple months until we have a grip enough on things. 

Step Four: find an apartment in Provo and move into our own place! 

Yes- we know this means that we will be living out of suitcases for a few months.

Yes- we know that this means we will not have a place to call our own for a while. 

Yes- we know that our babies could come anywhere from August --> end of September and so the duration of this situation is totally and completely unknown!

and Yes- we know that people will call us crazy.

BUT: priority número uno is saving up money so that we can effectively take care of these boys! So in the end it is worth all the hassle. 

Here is the big clincher to our plan--

We need to be out of our apartment on June 30th so that we don't have to pay July rent. 

That doesn't seem like a problem- you've still got a while to get it all done! 

Haha- no we don't! 

We made the decision to go with this plan on Thursday, June 19th. 

On Monday, June 22nd AJ left for a work trip. 

On Wednesday, June 24th I had planned to come to my parents house for a fun family weekend!!! 

We both arrive back in Provo on Sunday, June 29th. 

That left us with Thursday night--> Sunday to get everything moved into the storage unit. And just a few sporadic days for me to get final cleaning and packing done. 

Ah! Ah! Ah! Did you forget that I'm also pregnant with twins and am not supposed to do any moving on my own? 

Well I did. 

Thursday night I started packing up clothes. I stayed up way too late and was trying to take it easy... But I failed.

Friday I worked all day and at night AJ and I packed up some more. I was so exhausted we had to call it quits early because I'm pretty sure my legs stopped working entirely. C:

Saturday our beloved friend Melissa (remember she threw us our gender reveal party) came to help me get everything packed up and the guys from Novi (AJs company) came and we got most everything to the storage unit! Later in the afternoon, our friends Janae and Todd came to help us with some more packing and moving. By this time I was completely and utterly useless. I felt horrible- but I couldn't even stand up without holding onto a wall. I had been up on my feet all day and running around stressing out about getting it all done- I did NOT effectively take care of myself.

Sunday we had early morning church and I got some visiting teaching done... and then we had dinner at my Aunts house. It was so yummy!! I ate all the leftover salmon.

Monday I put myself on a modified bed rest because I could tell that my body was being pushed to the limits and I cannot afford to go into labor at 22 weeks. And by modified bed rest...I mean that I still ran some errands and I still packed a lot when some wonderful friends (the Lithgoes and Woodwards) from our ward came for FHE to help me clean since AJ was gone. Another great friend Stephanie came by for a few hours and taked with me because I needed some TLC. 

I guess I just didn't know how to really take it easy. I kept telling myself that if I didn't slow down then something would go wrong... But then I would think of all the things that needed to be done and I got back out of bed and did some more work. MISTAKE.

Because now I am on DOCTOR ORDERED bed rest. 

Apparently when a prego lady with twins does something like decide to pack and move her entire life in one weekend- it stresses her body out so much that there are repercussions. 

I noticed the tiny amount of bleeding on Monday- but had previously been told that a little spotting is normal. So I tried not to freak out.

I went to work on Tuesday morning and was horrified when I started bleeding a lot. A lot a lot. Like "I'm freaking out right now and need to see my doctor immediately" kind of a lot. I got the first appointment of the day (THANK GOODNESS).

My doctor started the appointment by first calming my fears and letting me see both babies on ultrasound. "They are still healthy and their hearts are working great," he said. Bless his heart. Then we went on a journey to find out what was causing the bleeding. Apparently I have a pretty common genetic condition called cervix ectropion. It means that the sensitive tissue of the cervix is exposed- instead of being tucked away like it is supposed to be. Under stressful conditions, that sensitive tissue bleeds. He said that the condition isn't typically anything to worry about- unless you try to move your entire life in one weekend.

He also said that because the twins are only 22 weeks along- if I were to do anything else to cause stress to my body and the babies were born now- they wouldn't survive. He said, however, that in a couple of weeks they could survive. Which is why he put me on a pretty strict bed rest for the next 2 weeks. Then at my next appointment he can reassess and figure out if I need to continue on bed rest or if I have learned my lesson and won't do anything crazy to push my body to its limits again. "Our goal is to keep these babies inside of you for as long as possible," he said, "don't push it!" 

Now... Let's return to the fact that my whole life is packed away in a storage unit AND my husband is out of town. My timing has always been impeccable. So immediately after the appointment I drove up to my parents house (a day earlier than planned) and have been on bed rest here. I've been so blessed to have the support that I need. They are taking care of me SO WELL. There is a ton of yummy food to eat, a comfortable bed to rest in, and people to talk to. Also- no stairs! 

My momma gave my nearly 3 year old niece, Clara, charge over me. Every time she sees me standing up it is her job to say, "Grace- you need to sit down or lay down." Effectively putting me in my place! 

It has all been worth it. My body is no longer stressed out, and I feel healthy and happy again! It is amazing to me that soon after finding out about the twins I read one lady's story about how she was put on bed rest @ 22 weeks. The thought terrified me! I convinced myself that bed rest so early would be THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD. boy was I wrong. 

The worst thing in the world is fearing that you have lost your babies. The worst thing in the world would be my boys being born too early to survive. The worst thing in the world is something a lot of women have experienced- and I am so much more sympathetic and understanding.

I remember driving to my parents house on Tuesday and praying to God that I will do anything to keep these boys alive and incubating for as long as possible. If it means bed rest for the next couple of months... Bring it on. Healthy, chubby babies are worth it. 

Moms (and especially moms of multiples)... DON'T OVER EXERT YOURSELF. Listen to your doctor and listen to your body. If you feel tired, rest. If you crave protein, eat it... Shamelessly! If you notice anything abnormal contact your doctor right away and do as you are told. Your babies are worth it.