Learning and Growing.

I talked with some friends a while ago about how I don't feel like myself anymore now that I am a mom... I mentioned how I used to feel so fun and free and service-oriented, but now I feel 10 years older than I really am and tired before the day begins. I got a lot of positive and uplifting feedback about how being a momma to twins does that to you. They all said that I would feel more like myself in time. Even with their reassurances I still felt lost. Since then I have been reflecting a lot on my personality and how I have changed since becoming a mom. Basically, I have been trying to answer, "WHY do I not feel like myself anymore?"

I think I've come to a realization about a major part of my personality--- I have a constant battle between my need for structure and my need to be spontaneous and free-spirited.

I remember watching the movie Tangled for the first time. I was SO DRAWN to Rapunzel's zest for life and her adventurous spirit and the fact that she is a Disney princess with brown hair and green eyes that I literally felt like I was her. Especially the part of the movie when she comes out of the tower and she is running around experiencing everything for the first time and her song lyrics build up to a crescendo that is so telling of how her emotions are about ready to spill out of her body... and the part when she is dancing in the kingdom and her eyes are closed and she is spinning around and the world seems to multiply around her. I felt that in my heart. Sometimes I still do. I have this innate desire to love life and explore. This is deeply rooted in my core. I sometimes feel a yearning that tugs at my stomach and my heart and brings me to tears thinking about how I want to be this way (aka I am tearing up right now just writing about it). I love this side of me. It allows me to get out of my self, my worries and my routine, and helps me focus on others.

Another part of my personality is that I am incredibly structured and detail oriented... even if my house doesn't look like I am. I am really good at multi-tasking (which sometimes I think is the reason God gave us twins because it comes naturally for me to keep track of their lives). If you know me well, you know I like to have a plan and I am constantly making lists. Skin-care to try, books to read, chores to do, etc. I research purchases for hours before settling on the right one. And my mind somehow keeps track of it all. Another part of this structured side of me is that I think about the future and the consequences of my actions. Back to college I wanted to do a fun, spontaneous camping trip with my roommates... but I didn't because I was worried about spending too much money which would keep me from being able to fix my car if it broke down later that year. I literally thought about the possibility that MONTHS FROM NOW my car would break down and I couldn't bring myself to forget about it and go have fun.

This is something that I do. I have these deep yearnings for freedom, but almost always structure wins.  

This reflection has helped me realize that this struggle isn't new. What is new is that I have KIDS. And on the rare occasion in college that I would throw caution to the wind and fully embrace my adventurous side, I still didn't have kids... or any other true responsibilities keeping me from doing it.

So now I am realizing that having my kiddos and having all the added stress of going from zero kids to two kids and not knowing how to parent just one kid but now being expected to parent two isn't making me any less ME. It is just that I have more responsibilities that suppress that spontaneous, free spirited, I've always wanted to just wake up one morning and say "I'm going to Ireland today" side of me. I just need to figure out a way to tell myself it is okay to not be structured all the time. I think I suppressed that spontaneity so much in college- thinking I had all these hard and fast responsibilities- that now that I actually have children to keep alive I am realizing what I missed out on.

My personality has changed a little since becoming a mom of twins- I am not as obnoxiously outgoing as I was in high school, I am more of a yogi-lifestyle lover, and I do most of my shopping online to avoid the carseat(s) debacle. But before I did all this reflection I felt like I had lost major aspects of my nature. Which isn't true. This struggle has been a part of me for as long as I can remember- and I am sure it will take years more to figure out. I am not saying that I won't ever be spontaneous now that I have kids. Just this spring my best friend convinced me to indulge and go on a quick camping trip... and we brought the kids. It was lovely. I want to show them the two sides of me and let them know its okay to let loose and have fun and forget about responsibilities every now and again. But I want them to understand that we all need structure, too. Its a balance. And I am still figuring it out.

much love, G

Mack and Dean... the Birth Story

I was inspired the other day by a friend's birth story blog post to finally write mine! I don't know why I didn't do it earlier... it's been 6 months... I have it all in my journal, but I never transposed it into the blog. Actually, its probably because I don't have much time on my hands anymore! c: 

I was at the OBGYN for my 36 Week Appointment and due to high blood pressure and other reasons, he told me that the best option was to be induced early that next week. I agreed and spent the next few days stressing about being induced. I had heard that being on Pitocin was incredibly painful... and I also felt very strange about missing out on that TV-labor-and-delivery-scene experience. You know, being wheeled into the hospital while screaming in pain looking like a crazy person! I definitely didn't want to miss out on that! The idea of walking up to the registration desk and saying, "I am here to be induced" so nonchalantly gave me the creeps. I know, I know... I am weird! 

Due to my strange and scared notions about being induced, I decided to try to have the babies come naturally over that weekend. So I walked around a little (really I am not sure it can even count as 'walking around' because of how hard it was... it was more like I shuffled around a little), tried primrose oil on Friday, and on Sunday night I tried castor oil as my last-ditch attempt at inducing natural labor. No such luck!

On Monday September 29th, 2014, I woke up and got dressed. I knew I wasn't supposed to eat a lot before I went in, but Dr. K told me to eat something! So AJ and I went to Kneader's and got muffin tops and smoothies.

    

delish!

In hindsight, I wish I had eaten more. c:

When we arrived at the hospital I was whisked into a L&D room and they began to hook me up to machines in order to track the babies' heartbeats. Baby A's heartbeat was normal, but Baby B's heart rate was unusually high. High enough to cause the nurses to be concerned. They threw around the scenario that if his heart rate didn't slow down in an hour then they would need to life-flight us to another hospital. 

Lots of prayers were said... and honestly I felt such a peace flow through me that I knew that we would all be okay regardless of what happened. Thankfully, his little heart rate lowered and we got to stay in Logan.

At 10:30am I was started on Pitocin, and it took me until 4pm to dilate to 4cm. During those 5ish hours I didn't have any kind of pain medication and honestly it wasn't that bad. I had a great team of people who helped me go through the stages of labor. 

My team consisted of:

- AJ. of course. This man wins a prize!! He rubbed my back and helped me breathe and held me up when I could barely stand. He encouraged me and supported me and didn't make any weird faces at all the nasty things that occur during labor. I love him.

- Mom. this woman amazes me! She kept me comfortable and gave me advice and made sure that I had everything that I needed. She was my advocate with the nurses and is wiser than I even knew before. 

- Bri French. doula. How do I accurately describe my relationship with Bri? Let's see... she is like my twin from another family. Our personalities are very similar and I feel completely comfortable around her. Her family is my family. Despite all of this, when my mom recommended that Bri attend the birth, I was against the idea. I was anxious already about the unknowns of labor and I didn't want to it to be weird for Bri and my relationship. However, I thought about it more and as the delivery date approached I realized how beneficial it would be for me to have a midwife/labor coach there to help keep me informed... especially someone that I admire and trust so much. Best decision ever. She was perfect! Bri helped the first stage of labor feel fine. The contractions ebbed and flowed, but I was able to manage the pain with her instruction. I am forever grateful for her role in my life. 

- Kasi French. errand runner. Kasi's personality is different from her sister's, for sure! She doesn't enjoy the birthing process and so she was the official family errand-runner and food-getter. She made sure that everyone was comfortable and she brought a humor to the room, which was absolutely appreciated. 

- Val. my sister. She really rose up to the occasion! I was a little nervous about how she would handle the whole process, but she was awesome. All of her shielding-of-the-eyes and voicing her discomfort brought a sense of lightness with her. It helped take my mind off of everything. 

- Dad. Oh my goodness. My dad was so uncomfortable with the whole situation. Most of the time he hung out in the lobby, which I didn't mind! He really hated seeing me in pain, but when I really needed him, he was there. He kept reminding me that I was in charge of what happened.

- Emma. my sister. Emma was in and out due to school and work... but I am so happy that she was able to come!! She was so excited about everything, finally being able to meet the twins. She helped me feel that same excitement and it took over the nerves. 

- Ryan. He pretty much hung out in the lobby... I mean I don't blame him!! But he was there for moral support and to meet the twins and it was so nice for him to be there! 

That's a pretty big L&D team... i know. And to be completely honest, I never thought I would feel comfortable having my family (Bri and Kasi included) traipsing around while I delivered babies. But  it actually turned out to be awesome. awesome awesome awesome! Having all those people I love surrounding me turned the whole experience into one big party! We were singing along to music, we watched Jim Gaffigan YouTube videos, ate popsicles, and just talked about life. It was so fun! 

 The glorious Bri French massaging my sore back! 

At one point I was so cold I had them put like 9 blankets on me... 

and I was still shivering!!!!! 

I never thought I would describe labor as fun... but it was! 

Since I had the desire to try natural labor, and the first 4cm weren't too bad pain-wise, I was thinking that I could do it. Bri was really encouraging and I felt confident. Then somewhere around 4cm dilated- I started to really feel the pain! I think a huge part of it was that I was exhausted (I didn't sleep well Sunday night). At this point I pulled AJ aside and we decided that it was time for the epidural. 

best. decision. ever. 

The anesthesiologist came in and I covered my eyes. I didn't want to see any of the needles or tools he was using for the epidural. Ignorance is bliss in these situations. To be honest, I barely felt it go in... and pretty soon afterwards was able to relax enough I got to take a short nap! bless you, epidural. 

45 minutes after I got the epidural, my nurse came in to check on how labor was progressing. I had dilated to 9cm and was 100% effaced! In 45 minutes I went from 4cm-9cm... and I didn't feel a thing! it was glorious. It took me another hour to dilate to 10cm and at that time the epidural began to wear off. The pain wasn't too bad, so I didn't re-administer the pain medication... but boy did I regret that decision once it came time to push. I pushed for about an hour and I just was feeling stressed about the pain. Also knowing that I could be pushing for another who knows how long factored into the equation. I remember my dad was propping up my back, and I was telling him how badly it was hurting. He looked at me and said, "Grace, you can do this without using more pain medication, but it is your choice. If you want more medication... don't wait on it." Smart man! I had the doctor give me more... and it definitely helped. Unfortunately I had waited too long and the epidural took a long time to kick in- so I felt a lot of the pain and pressure during delivery.

With the potential risks of a twin delivery, they decided to move me into the OR as a precaution. The nurse told me I could pick two people to come with me. My mom wasn't feeling well at all, so AJ and Bri got all decked out in their scrubs and came with me. It was strange being wheeled into the sterile OR room-- there was a metal table that the nurse wanted me to get on for delivery but I begged (I would have gotten on my knees if I could have) and they let me stay in my comfy hospital bed! 

The actual delivery part was such a blur. I just remember little snippets: Dr. K asking me if I wanted to touch Baby A's head as he was coming out. uuuuuuh uuuuuuuh no thanks! The pain/pressure of pushing until the epidural kicked back in. yikes. 

Then all of a sudden Baby A was in my arms. I always shuddered at the thought of having a shall we say... slimy... newborn in my arms. But it was the best feeling ever! He came out crying and cute. When the nurses took him away, my eyes followed him around the room. Dr. K told me that I had to wait a few minutes before pushing for Baby B to come out... follow the natural flow of the contractions... so we waited. It didn't take very long, around 5 or so minutes, for me to feel it again and before I knew it we were headed for round 2! 

As I tried to push, someone announced Baby A's weight: 6lbs 11oz. I was thinking about how big he was and how grateful I was that I didn't even realize Dr. K was using a vacuum (aka weird plunger type thing) to try to get Baby B out. When the vacuum popped off of Baby B's head and smacked my insides (yeah... NOT PLEASANT) I jumped a little bit and yelped! Dr. K looked at me fiercely and told me to focus- I still had one baby who needed to come out safe and sound. His heart rate had begun climbing so I knew I needed to get him out before an emergency C-section was needed. 

And so I pushed. 

One strong push was really all it took and all of a sudden a 5lb 4oz Baby B was in my arms. My first thought was, "he isn't crying. please cry. please, Heavenly Father let his lungs be strong and cry!!" Half a second later he was crying and I was crying and then I laughed to myself because I never thought I would pray for my babies to cry! 

Dr. K was kind of cracking me up because he kept asking if I wanted to know what was going on down there with all the last stage of labor/afterbirth stuff. I kept trying to act interested because it is good to know these things... but I was getting so grossed out! Due to his education I do know these things: I tore very little because, even though I gave birth twice, their heads were smaller than full-term babies; the placenta weighs quite a bit (and it looks super weird); and the nurses give you a little massage on your limbs to... actually I forgot why they do this, but hey, I got a massage! 

Baby B, the proud father, and Baby A... My 3 wonderful men!! 

At this point I was given two little bundles and was told to hold them while they wheeled me back to our room to meet the family. I held them in awe that I had given birth to this... newness. I couldn't decide who to look at... so my eyes kept shifting from one baby to the other. After the family met and cuddled my little loves, I tried to nurse them. I had read that it is a natural instinct for babies and I figured they would just latch on right away and be amazing... but it wasn't like that... and unfortunately we didn't have time to figure it all out because they had to go to the NICU for a 3-hour observation. Every preemie does. So I watched them be taken away and thought that maybe I would get some sleep. 

NOT! The time right after you deliver is something I don't think anyone truly prepared me for. The nurses come and check on you every few minutes with medications, ice packs, and fundus checks. i hate fundus checks. hate. hate. hate!!! I know they are important, but let me just say it was very painful... I will probably write more about it in another post. I'm that passionate about it! 

After the 3-hour observation, a nurse came to inform me that both of my little guys passed everything apart from their glucose tests. Their numbers were very low and this meant that they needed to stay in the NICU until their little bodies regulated glucose appropriately. As sad as we were, it was really late (or early in the morning) so we decided to rest and visit the boys in the morning. That was one of the best decisions ever because I was able to focus on healing. AJ actually let me sleep in and he took the NICU shift until I woke up. i love that man. 

It took a couple days of us going back and forth from the NICU to decide on both of their names. The first time I walked into the NICU, I just knew that Baby B was Dean David Hamner. He just looked like a Dean to me. 

Deciding on Baby A's name took longer. We kept going back and forth between Hugh and McKay (nickname Mack) and had actually settled on Hugh. Then we just felt very strongly that his name was not Hugh and we needed to take some more time to think about it. After a little discussion we realized that we didn't want to name him McKay if he would always have to say, "but I go by Mack." So we decided to just name him Mack Austin Hamner! It really is the perfect name for him. 

All in all- I labored less than 12 hours, had around 12lbs of baby inside of me at time of delivery, and at one point I think I had 12 people in my L&D room!! And as a result I got two beautiful, silly, happy, healthy, smiley sons. I would do it all over again c:

 Dean and Mack @ 1 week

Baby Dean Update #2

Ladies and gents... Dean is officially cord free! He no longer needs the oxygen and he is doing really well without it! 

He has gotten stronger the past week- despite his sickness and all that it entailed! He is starting to roll over... Mack hasn't even tried to do so yet. Mack is such an easy going little man. 

I set Dean down in his car seat so he could take a nap yesterday. He was still coughing a lot so we wanted his head elevated. Anyways, after about an hour I went over and saw him like this::

Hehehe c:

I just can't get over how adorable this is! I know that mobile babies are stressful... But I'm just thinking about all the fun things associated with it! 

Other happy things: 

- Mack and Dean are starting to notice one another! 3.5 months and it's happening! I had them laying next to each other and they turned their heads and locked eyes... Dean didn't turn away for nearly 5 minutes!! 

- It is likely that we found an apartment in Provo!! We can now start the process of returning to "normal" life. However, I've never attempted to live "normally" with twins and so I'm anxious about leaving family! My parents have been so kind to let us live here and take over their house! We really have been blessed.

Much love,

G

Baby Dean Update

Sweet little man was in the hospital for 3 days. He is home now... still on oxygen... but he is home! Being in the hospital with my baby was hard, but I had no idea how hard it would be as a mom of twins...

let me explain. 

Momma, Emma, and Ashley Anne were taking incredible care of Mack at home and I knew he was in great hands... but I missed him so much. I had never been away from either baby for longer than just a few hours- you know for date night or temple night, etc. I was so wrapped up with all the medical stuff and worrying about baby Dean that I didn't really have time to think about Mack for a long while. It wasn't until I had some downtime in the evening that I realized how sad I was to be away from him. I missed his big droopy cheeks and big eyes.

But then, when I was able to go home the next afternoon, I desperately missed Dean! I picked up this adorable little turtle bath toy and for some reason it reminded me of Dean and I started crying! 

It was pathetic to say the least.

I just felt bad that I was at home playing and resting while the little man was still roughing it in the hospital! I couldn't wait to get back and give him some comfort and help him feel loved. I know babies don't have the whole object permanence thing down... but can they tell when they are alone? I mean, there were nurses everywhere who fed him while AJ and I slept at home Friday night... but did he feel lonely and miss his family? I felt absolutely horrible knowing that my baby was in the hospital, potentially in pain from the IV or some other procedure, and I wasn't there to sing to him or hold his hand or anything! I felt like a lousy mama that night. 

On Saturday, we left Mack with my Dad and both went to the hospital. Dr. Brown told us that Dean would be discharged later that night, though he would still need oxygen for a couple of days at home. It was hugely relieving to know that my whole family would be under the same roof and I could take care of both of my babies! Mack has been so sweet through it all- he has been so smiley and easy going for the past couple of days! It is almost like he knows Dean is sick and he wants to do whatever he can to make our lives easier. Dean is doing well- his coloring is back to normal and his appetite is getting back to where it normally is.

We are still keeping the boys separate until Dean is cleared from the doctor. I can't wait to let them play again and see how they react to each other after almost a week of being apart!! one of the perks of having twins c: 

love,
G

Motherhood Is Not For the Faint of Heart

What am I doing here- binge watching Gilmore Girls in a pediatric hospital room listening to baby Dean breathe?

Man, this RSV stuff sucks. 

He has been sick for a few days and we were managing it. Humidifier. Snot sucking. Sitting in the steamy bathroom. Snot sucking. Taking him outside to breathe in the cold air. Repeat. 

Mack had been sick the week before but the doctor said it was a mild case of croup and we shouldn't worry. So naturally I assumed that's what Dean had when he started showing symptoms. 

Then yesterday morning his breaths were so shallow that I just knew I needed to take him to the doctor. We drove to the urgent care and I pulled him out of the car seat. 

Oh my gosh, did I accidentally brings Mack?

No, no, I brought Dean. Whoo! The next thing I know we are called back to the office. Mental note to self: the wait time is significantly reduced when an infant is involved. 

The doctor did his thing and ordered some tests: RSV, flu, pneumonia. Tested positive for RSV, negative for flu, x-Ray showed pneumonia in his right lung. BTW-- Baby x-Rays are no fun. He was basically stuck in a tube with his arms above his head to keep him from moving during the procedure. I could live a hundred more years and be perfectly content never having to watch my baby go through that again. 

So with that wonderful diagnosis we set on a day's journey of going back and forth to the hospital's ROC (respiratory outpatient care) center. 3 times in less than 24 hours. Each time his stats were lower until this morning the doctor said his stats were too low to send him home. Thus Dean was admitted to the hospital. 

It's been a miserable two days on my end. I see my sweet baby suctioned out and strapped in and prodded. His eyes are red and he is so sleepy but barely gets any rest. He is hungry, I can tell, but can't breathe which keeps him from eating even a decent amount of food. So he is cat napping and snacking in a vicious 20-30 minute cycle. My headaches have been rampant (better now thanks to modern medicine) and I miss my husband (who is out of town on business until tomorrow). 

Rough rough day. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. 

I am so grateful for my mom, Emma, and Ashley Anne for taking care of Mack. I am grateful for the doctors and nurses who are taking such good care of Dean. I am grateful that Mack isn't in the hospital. I am grateful that baby Dean is being such a trooper. 

I just can't wait for him to get better. I can't wait for AJ to get home. And I've decided that once this whole experience is over- I am going to the spa. 

Much love,

G

The Chronicles of the NICU

10/21/2014

These past few weeks have been some of the most mentally, physically, and emotionally draining weeks I've had in a long while. They have also been the most joyful, fulfilling, and inspiring weeks of my entire life.

Our babies are now three weeks old! We had their second check up with the pediatrician last Wednesday and we learned that Dean is 6oz heavier than birth weight! Dr. B said he was a champion! We struggled in the NICU trying to get Dean to eat- due to the crazy strict schedule down there and the fact that the babes had to have glucose tests done before and after they ate, they were on an eating schedule of every 3 hours. Mack caught on to this schedule pretty quickly.... but Dean struggled. We tried nursing, SNS, and bottle feeding... and nothing was working all that well. With the bottle we were only able to get him to eat 10-15 (mayyyyybe 20) ml. Even with the IV, his glucose levels kept going up and down- toying with our emotions! 

For three mornings in a row the nurses would talk about how they thought Dean would be discharged that day. I would always get my hopes up and then feel a major let down when later they would tell me how his glucose had dropped into the low 30s again (the goal was to get his glucose stable at least @ 50). It is really hard to emotionally connect to a little tiny, fragile thing hooked up to IVs and machines. Cords running everywhere- I was always afraid I would pull something out! 

Both babies had this type of set-up... They got to share a twin room!

Honestly, the best thing I did to connect to little Dean was to do skin-to-skin. About halfway through day 2 of NICU, I asked his nurse if that would be allowed. It felt kind of weird with the wires running all over me, but we cuddled and I sang and he slept like a log. It really was a turning point for us- he started eating better and his levels became more consistent. It's not like he instantly jumped into the 50s range and was released from the NICU... But he began improving and was released just a day and a half later!  

Mack was easier to connect with. I think a huge part of it was the fact that he was born a pound and a half bigger than Dean. Even though he had the NICU wires, too, he was less fragile-looking and felt more solid in my arms. He also caught onto SNS pretty well, which allowed me to bond via nursing. SNS stands for supplemented nursing system- there is a syringe filled with milk and a long skinny tube that you place on your chest which allows the baby to "nurse" even though his muscles aren't really strong yet. You push the milk into the baby's mouth and he eats! Vualah! Since Mack was such a good eater, he was discharged from the NICU after two days- whereas Dean was there for four. 

In the hospital, the first night Mack was with us in our (hospital hotel stay) room, I had an emotional meltdown- we were told that we couldn't bring Mack back to the NICU room (our room was on level 3 and the NICU is on level 2), so we had to split duty on the babies. I stayed with Mack in our room while AJ hustled back and forth to be with Dean. The first time we were apart during eating time, I tried SNS with Mack. Trying to do that solo was near impossible... he was crying, I was trying, and I just felt so sad that I couldn't feed him on my own. I called AJ to have him come back from the NICU to help me, and so he came. He put the milk in a bottle and fed Mack while I cried and cried. oh, hormones... After an hour I was fine. 

The hardest part about the whole NICU/hotel stay room situation was that I didn't see Dean very much for the rest of the time he was in the NICU. On the last day that we were in the hospital, one of the hospital family services personnel ladies caught wind of our difficult situation and was pretty upset that we had been told that we couldn't bring Mack back to the NICU with us. Apparently hospital policy is that we could bring Mack back and forth as long as we used the back elevator. Our nurse must have missed that policy!! She promised us that she would hold a training to make sure that stressful situation didn't happen to another family. I am grateful that other parents won't have to go through that.

Anyways- on Friday, after 4 days in the hospital, we got to go home as a family! It was a very sweet moment as I walked past my favorite nurses and exchanged smiles and waves. I love being home and I LOVE that both boys are growing well... bring on the chub!! 

Dean and Mack

Leaving the hospital! 

Dean and Mack in their crib on their first night at home c: 

I Was Peed on Today

I was peed on today- something I have been planning for since the 20 week ultrasound gender reveal that told us we were having twin boys. 

I'm gonna get peed on so much! Was one of my first reactions: combine the cliche that baby boys pee a lot on their parents and then times that by two... I knew we were in for it! 

So I've been taking precautions. I get everything ready for the diaper change before I open it up. I unravel the new diaper, pull out the diaper cream, and get wipes out and ready. So far I've had great success! Two weeks in the clear- until about an hour ago. 

He peed on me that little silly boy! I hesitated for just one second before wrapping up the new diaper and he took advantage of my delay. C: 

I always figured I would get frustrated when it happened, but I wasn't! In fact I thought it was down right comical- I chuckled and said too bad I don't have a jellyfish sting! 

(Yes, I have been stung by a jellyfish and yes, there was pee involved to help the healing process before medicine was purchased.)

But I learned something today from this experience. I can be that mom. You know, the one who doesn't freak out if there's a mess in the kitchen. Or who will take her kids out in the rain to splash the puddles without worrying about how much laundry she'll have to do later.

The one who doesn't get mad when the her son pees all over her. 

I know there will be times when I am frustrated. I know there will be times when I need to discipline for messes and not following the general rules of cleanliness... But it feels good to know I can stay calm even through groggy eyes and a groggy mind.

Seriously:: they are too cute to get mad at! Maybe I just shot myself in the foot for the terrible twos times two! We will see.

Love, 

G

The Final Countdown

I'm going to cut right to the chase::
If these babies don't come naturally this weekend, I am going to be induced on Monday!!!

This news came as a total shock to me... I always knew these babies would come soon, but the reality of  Monday, Monday, Monday is kind of freaking me out.

Now, let me explain:

At my ultrasound appointment on Wednesday, the babies weighed in at:
Baby A- 6 lbs!!
Baby B- 5.5 lbs!!
Both babies are still head down which is glooooorious!

My sister, Val, came to the ultrasound with me! It was fun to share in that experience... these babies are so lucky to be coming into a family with so much love. Both AJs family and mine are so excited and ready to shower these boys with love and kisses! lucky boys!

After the ultrasound, I had an appointment with my OB.
Unfortunately- my blood pressure was a little high.... and I was feeling nauseated and light headed. So I was taken to the room to rest for a little bit.

Once I was feeling better (the teensiest tiniest bit better) Dr. K came in. He said that he had just finished looking at the latest research for my type of twins: mono chorionic something something... basically two babies sharing a placenta but separated by a membrane. The latest research says that it is best to deliver between 36-37 weeks- so that the babies don't start fighting over the food supply (and some other doctor-y reasons). 

That in addition to the elevated blood pressure led Dr. K to feel good about delivering these babies soon!!

Soooooooo... he suggested for me to be induced on Monday! 

I totally agree with him. I feel healthy and the babies are growing well- but I know that high blood pressure can cause problems. I had my blood tested for pre eclampsia and it came back negative -thank goodness! I would have been induced that day if I had pre eclampsia! 

I also trust my OB very much. He is knowledgeable and logical regarding medical decisions, but he also takes my views and emotional aspects into account. He always says, "This is what I would say as a doctor... But this is what I would say if you were my daughter." Most of the time the two suggestions are the same- but it is nice to know that he gives me all the options before I make a decision! 

SO- now we are really getting ready for babies! We thought that we were ready... But I keep thinking of things I have to get done! It will all be fine- and everything is coming together. 

I do find that I'm more nervous about being induced than I am about going into natural labor! I don't know exactly why- but it kind of makes me hyperventilate!

Well- I'm excited. Nervous. Happy. Sore. Swollen. Grateful. And all sorts of other emotions rolled up into one.

I'll keep y'all updated!

G

THE CURVEBALL WEEK: Week 34/35

So- at what I thought was my 34 week appointment, the OB said everything was looking great! He told me to schedule my follow-up appointments for the next few weeks. I went up to the scheduling desk and said that I needed to schedule my 35 week appointment. The nurse who was helping me during the appointment overheard me and turned around. She said, "No Grace, today was your 35 week appointment!" Apparently, somewhere along the line, my due date was changed from Oct. 28th to Oct. 22nd based on the babies' growth rate! WHAAAAAT!!! This is amazing news- because our goal was to make it to at least 36 weeks... and that is now just a few days away!

Other awesome things that happened this week! 
- BOTH BABIES ARE HEAD DOWN!!! Baby B has been breech since the 20 week ultrasound... but this week he decided it was time to flip around! I am so happy because two vertex babies means a higher likelihood of a smooth delivery! They could move around at any time... but they have stayed vertex this whole week-- so I have a good feeling about it! 
- The dippy bed problem has been fixed!! It turns out that the box spring was broken in the middle, which caused the mattress to sink in. We have been sleeping in the basement in my brother's room (he is on his mission) but now we can get all set up on the main-floor bedroom! YES!
- Going along with ^, I no longer have to waddle up and down the stairs to get to our bedroom!!
- This week I made a peanut butter hot fudge brownie sundae-- using the brownie mix we found at the store and my coconut ice cream! It was heavenly!! Talk about a satisfied craving.
- I went in for my NST (non-stress test) today and they found BOTH babies' heart rates on the first try!
- I finally have all of the 'thank you' cards mailed out! It feels nice to have that done before the babies come! Also, the new stamps I got are ADORABLE... they have birds on them. c:
- We attended the Ogden Utah Temple Rededication on Sunday! It was wonderful to hear talks from church leaders. I am so grateful that temple work is moving forward!
- Mama, Emma, and I got pedicures! The lady who was doing my pedicure was so incredibly sweet! She saw how swollen my feet/legs are and let out a sympathetic sigh. THEN she rubbed my feet for twice the amount of time that Emma's guy rubbed hers! It felt so wonderful-- I reclined my chair, turned the back massage on, and practically fell asleep!
- My family phone plan has an upgrade that I am able to use! It is awesome because last year I used my UPgrade to DOWNgrade to the simplest slide-to-text phone I could, hoping to save money on the phone bill. However, a month after downgrading the bill went up due to a new policy! And because of how lame the phone is- I can't take pictures or even receive multi-media text messages! I've missed out on a lot of family pictures and texting threads because of it. Also... when I receive a notification (text or missed call) it will BEEP every 30 seconds until I dismiss the notification! This beeping has woken me up in the middle of the night... and has just been plain annoying! So this new upgrade is going to be AMAZING!! I think my phone comes in tomorrow... just in time for the babies!



The one bad thing that happened this week is my iPad just up and died. AJ plugged it in yesterday to charge and when I went to get it hours later it wouldn't turn on! I've tried different outlets, used my dad's charger, and taken it in to the Apple store... but nothing is working!! The only thing they can do for me is to get a replacement... but that will cost a lot of money since my warranty was only for a year. I am super bummed out about it- because my iPad is the only computer-type thing I own. I have to use AJ's computer now when I want to check something. Hopefully it will spontaneously work again... or else tomorrow I will send it in for the replacement. What else am I to do?

c: 
Grace

Blessings from Week 33!!

Wow- 33 weeks down and it feels great! Here are some of the good things that happened this week!! 

- I was able to Face Time with my sister-in-law and her kids, Clara and Christian! Clara is 3 now and Christian is almost a month old! They live in San Diego- so we don't get to see each other very often. But talking with Ashley Anne is always awesome! Also, she has a ton of recipes to send my way... So that makes me happy! 

- AJ and I went to the Logan Temple- we sat outside and talked for a while. It was such a gorgeous day and it was wonderful to spend time communicating!! 

- My puppy Sookie likes to sleep in our bed-- I love that doggie! 

See her snout?

- Our very good friend Kasi French came over! We had such a fun day together! She helped us so much by getting the babies' room together! The clothes are washed and folded by size, the changing table is all set up with diapers and creams!! It is all coming together little by little. 

- While Kasi was here we had a fun movie night with Chinese food! It was so fun for us all to chill in my parents room and eat the different take out dishes! 

:: Speaking of food:: 

- We had some of my favorites this week! Peach pie, peach dumplings (peach anything), Japanese curry, hamburgers, homemade tomato sauce pasta... YUM!! I love food! 

- At the grocery store we also found cake and brownie mixes that I can eat! For those who know my allergies- this is a big deal! It has been amazing, AH-MAZING! 

- AJ made me breakfast every day this week! It allowed me to sleep in! YAY! I love my husband.

AJ is getting anxious for these babies to come! I love seeing how excited he is and how giddy he gets when the babies kick! He is going to be an amazing father and I am grateful for him! 

C:

Grace

So Grateful for Week 32!

- AJ came back from Seattle!!! He surprised me a day earlier than I expected him home. It was the best surprise because I missed him a lot. A lot a lot. And I love having him home! 

- Our really good friend Danielle Woodall did maternity pictures for us!! On our drive to SLC, AJ and I had fun dancing in the car to some of my favorite songs from high school. The In'n'Out guy saw us dancing in the car and must have had a good laugh c: I am so excited to see how the pictures turned out- Danielle is super talented and the fall colors in the canyon were gooooorgeous.

- I shaved my legs! At this stage it was a pretty big undertaking, and I'm pretty vocal about how much I hate shaving my legs. But I did it because my mom found a shaving cream created for people with super sensitive skin. I figured I would try it out. I was still itchy and uncomfortable and taking Benedryl for the next few days, but hey I gave it a shot c:

- Going along with ^, I found out this week that the iron supplement that I have been taking has lactose in it! Sneaky dogs! Since I stopped taking the iron supplement, I have been feeling less itchy and irritable- so maybe that played into how miserable of an experience shaving was?

- At my 32 week appointment, the babies weighed in at right around 4lbs each!!! Grow babies, grow!  I also measured at 40 weeks- the women in my ward still say, "you don't look big enough to be having twins!" but I sure feel big enough! 

- I got all dolled up for Sunday! I curled my hair and wore earrings! I also wore the cute new shirt my mom got for me! Mom figured I needed a few cute things to wear these last few weeks. Not only do I loooove the color of this shirt, it is also super soft and cozy. Thanks mom! 

Do you see how long the shirt is? I love shirts that cover my belly, no question. 

- We got to spend some time with AJs sister, Mary, and her husband, Daniel! They live in Layton- so not too far- but we don't get to see them as much as we would like to. It was fun to chat for a little while and hear about their lives. 

- We finished canning the peaches!!! Thank goodness. Between my mom and I (mom recovering from surgery and me being super pregnant) it took way longer than expected. But dad helped early in the week and on Friday, Val came over to help, too! Val was a total lifesaver in the canning process- without her we would have failed massively. 

- My dad ran and completed the WASATCH 100 MILE ULTRA-MARATHON!! He finished in 27 hours 37 minutes and took 59 th place out of 320 runners! I am amazed that my dad can do what he does- I mean he is almost 50 years old and recovered from an ACL surgery just 6 years ago!! That man can do anything. 

Dad is the goofy looking one in the glasses- c: My "Uncle" Vernon was dad's pacer for the last 25 miles. They sure had fun together! 

- My family has been a HUGE help in getting our room set up for the babies to come! My mom has really been the genius mastermind behind it all- getting the dresser painted grey (so cute), cleaning out the closets so we have room for our clothes, and clearing out space in her office so AJ has a work space and a place for the baby stuff. AJ and dad have also been invaluable because of their energy, muscles, and willingness to help. We really have been blessed!! 

- I washed the first load of baby clothes/blankets/etc. It was so fun to go through the clothes and I am really looking forward to getting everything put away today! I am having so much fun getting ready for these boys! 

...

I know I've been nervous and anxious and flat out terrified about having twins. But the closer I get to the babies coming, the calmer I become! I am the type of girl to get stressed out over all the little details. I need everything to be planned and perfectly figured out before I can relax and enjoy the ride. It's what made me a really good event planner at BYU. I am the girl that made an itinerary for our wedding (personalized for each family member) specifying all the teeny tiny details. I am the girl who the day after Christmas 2013 started planning what our Christmas plans are for this year.

Since June, this girl has gone on a whirlwind of a roller coaster stressing out about all the unkown factors involved in our unique twin circumstance. The packing and moving. Work and housing situations. Becoming a mom and entering this new phase of life. And don't forget about terrifying bed rest. c: All of these things at the time seemed so overwhelming. 

Looking back I've realized that I've gained so much in the past few months! I've started to gain an understanding of what it means to put my trust in God and go with the flow. Without this experience, I would still be the same stressed out, wound up girlie. But now I'm learning that it's okay if I don't know exactly what is happening for Christmas... Or next summer.... Or a year from now. Heck- I don't even know exactly what will be happening next week and I've come to be okay with that! 

My knowledge that God knows best has solidified. My ability to trust in Him has developed. He knew that our babies would be the best way to teach me a lesson, and He was right. I am so grateful for Heavenly Father and His path for us. That is the biggest blessing of them all! 

Love, 

Grace

Blessings from Week 31

Well, hello there!! 

31 weeks was good for us! 

AJ got back to Logan from work/church responsibilities on Tuesday evening. Then Wednesday afternoon got the call fm Novi's CEO that he was needed in Seattle for a conference. Sadly for me, he left early Thursday morning for his week and a half long trip. 

I miss him so much. I am definitely not built for AJ to be gone for long periods of time. When we were first dating, AJ was pretty intent on being in the Army. I knew that would be very difficult for me, but I was willing to make it work. I am grateful that AJs path led him to business... A week for business trips is way better for me than deployment. 

It also gives me more respect families who are in the military or other long-trip working situations. 

So blessing #1) AJ is only gone for a week and a half... Not longer. C:

- I was able to go to the Ogden Temple open house with my Aunt Gayle and cousin Abby. When a new LDS temple is completed, it is open to the public for around a month before it is dedicated as a sacred building. This allows all people to come and see what LDS temples are all about! 

- My mom and dad are back from their 2 weeks being away!! It makes AJ being gone much easier because I have people around me... Plus mom's surgery went well- so life is good! 

- Emma cleaned the kitchen to spotless perfection! When I came home from the open house, the kitchen was clean. It was such a nice surprise! 

- Emma and I had lunch with our Aunt Diana and cousin Ashleigh! It was so wonderful to see them- especially because Diana lives in Indiana and we don't get to see her often. We had a lot of fun chatting and eating and catching up on all the things going on in our lives. 

- I am grateful for technology- being able to meet my nephew Chrisitan while living so far away.... Being able to talk to AJ while he is on his trip... And staying in contact with my friends while I'm in Logan. Technology rules! 

Not too much going on right now, but we are definitely happy!! 

Love, 

Grace

Happy Week 30

This has been a really good week.

- AJ had a vacation from work... Meaning we had a ton of time to spend together. It was so fun just to relax and recuperate together. I love my husband so much!

- We had an awesome (repeat awesome) ward activity. MASTER CHEF MYSTERY BOX CHALLENGE. We gave bags of secret ingredients to different groups and each had to make either an entree or a dessert. We had some AMAZING creations come out of those kitchens! It was so fun to cook together and eat together and talk together. I love ward activities!! 

- I met my new OB here in Logan. He rocks!! I told AJ that we may need to move to Logan permanently so that this OB can deliver all of our babies. C: He is just the perfect mix of "it's your babies, your way" and "I know what is medically best for you and your babies." We went over my very flexible birth plan (flexible because I know with twins often times nothing happens the way it was planned to), and he was on board with everything. He had advice on each point but most of it was in line with what I wanted already- sooooo I felt pretty good about that. He also was super happy with how healthy the boys and I looked! He thinks we have a good chance of making it to 36-37 weeks!! After months of stressing out about super preemie babies, it feels wonderful to get such poisitve feedback. 

Look at my baby bump grow! I'm measuring @ 37 weeks (even though I'm only 30 weeks along)

Then a few days later I had my Maternal Fetal Medicine appointment. They were just following up to make sure that no signs of twin to twin transfusion popped up in the last two weeks. And there were none! The tech doing the ultrasound and the perinatologist kept saying how healthy the boys are and perfectly they are growing c: I was pretty much beaming from ear to ear. Baby A clocked in at 3 lbs 8 oz (8 oz growth in 2 weeks) and Baby B at 3 lbs 5 oz (11 oz growth in 2 weeks)!!! They are growing so fast- no wonder I'm tired and hungry all the time! 

- I made homemade cookie dough ice cream sandwiches! I have been craving sweets lately- which is funny because for the first two trimesters sweets really had no appeal. Anyways, I saw these ice cream sandwiches on Pinterest a while ago and have been dyyyying to make them- they are just pretty expensive to make with my food allergies. But this week I finally caved and I am so glad that I did! AJ and I plowed through the first batch in a day... Emma barely got any! So last night I made some more! 

Just writing about it makes me want one. Be right back....

10 am isn't too early for cookie dough ice cream sandwiches, right? C:

- AJ and I set up the crib! It is so pretty, I love it. We found this great deal on KSL a few weeks ago (crib and mattress) and I have been really excited to get it set up. I practiced reaching in and getting something out of the crib...because I am short and the crib seemed tall... and it made this whole soon I will have two babies situation become really real. It was a happy moment for sure. 

- I got to hang out with my friend Kaitlin Shick! We made dinner, and chatted, and just caught up on life! When I lived up in Logan the summer after freshman year, she and I became good friends. We don't really get to see each other too often when I am up here for short trips... So I am really looking forward to spending more time with her while we are living here. 

- AJ and I went to the temple! It was wonderful as always. 

- My parents have this awesome bed that has a remote to raise/lower the head and feet portions of the bed. Since they have been out of town, we have been sleeping on their bed. It's nice because when I sleep on a regular bed, I have to prop my legs up with pillows to elevate them. If I change positions, the pillows fall over and aren't effective. But with my parents bed, I just use the remote to raise the feet and vualah! Elevated, not swollen/sore feet result! Plus AJ can leave his side flat so he can sleep well. I know what I'm asking for for Christmas... JK the bed is super expensive.

- OUR NEW NEPHEW WAS BORN! Christian Spencer Fuller (son of Spencer and Ashley Anne Fuller) was born Friday, August 22, 2014!!! He was a little over 7 lbs and has a lot of hair. C: 

Now they are home and Christian's big sister Clara is ecstatic! We video chatted with them yesterday and it was clear how much she loves her brother. San Diego really is too far away. I'm seriously considering making the drive (but I'm pretty sure my doctors wouldn't be thrilled about the trip c:). 

This week was full of happy things. I am grateful for it.

Love, 

Grace

My Twin Baby Bump

I am 30 weeks pregnant... but my baby bump measures at 37 weeks!

Since I have nothing to compare this pregnancy to- I've been thinking a lot about how different this pregnancy is than future pregnancies will be!

Here are few things I have noticed so far:

I haven't been able to see my feet for weeks.
I don't know when it is normal to stop seeing your feet... but keep in mind I stopped being able to see them around 23 weeks!

I mean... I guess I can see them if I bend over far enough c:

My feet/ankles are swollen all. the. time.
When AJ and I flew to Japan, my feet swelled up like balloons! It was painful and I could barely put my shoes on!
This has become my norm. Every day I cycle through putting my sandals on in the morning, hoping and praying that they will still fit! When I take off my shoes later, I have the braided rope pattern imprinted on my poor little (or I guess not so little) feet.
AJ has been lovingly rubbing my feet for weeks and weeks helping the swelling to go down. Now-a-days compression socks hardly do the trick! The best way I've found is to keep my feet elevated (especially while I sleep).

I am always hungry.
The other week AJ and I were at Noodles & Co. with AJs mom. I ordered Pad Thai with pork and it was deeeeelicious!
After scarfing down the dinner, we chatted for about 30 minutes and decided it was time to get going. We were going to run an errand or two before we got home. I felt embarrassed (but got over it quickly because of how hungry I knew I would be soon) and I mentioned that I was going to be hungry again before we finished our errands. I ordered a second Pad Thai- this time with shrimp! I took it to go and about 45 minutes later I scarfed it down, too!

Sleeping is uncomfortable.... and it has been for a while.
I was on Facebook about a month ago and saw that my friend had posted a picture of her adorable baby bump at 31 weeks. She had to hold her shirt down in order for the bump to be really accented. The caption read something like, "31 weeks! Sleeping is starting to become a pain- I can never find a comfy position!"
I chuckled.
I was 26 weeks and I had already been dealing with the big bump discomfort for weeks!! Sleeping soundly is a thing of the past- replaced with bathroom breaks and waking up with a sore back/neck. I guess I am being prepared for when these boys come and keep me up at night c:

Every week more clothes don't fit.
When my friend Erika was pregnant, she didn't start wearing maternity clothes for a while. Towards the end of her pregnancy she wore the maternity clothes- so I was thinking the same thing would happen to me.
Around 12-13 weeks in, I no longer fit into my pants. My mom and I had gone shopping for maternity pants around 10 weeks (when I first told her I was pregnant). I was SURE that the clothes would sit on my shelf for months before I had to start wearing them. lies.
I remember the first time I wore maternity pants- they felt amazing! I couldn't believe I had kept squeezing into my pre-pregnancy pants because the stretchy ones felt soooo good. I could breathe and move and dance if I wanted to!
I also remember waiting to wear some maternity clothes for so long that once I did put them on they didn't even fit! we had a good laugh at that one. One of my favorite maternity skirts I never got to wear. It makes me look forward to wearing it during my next pregnancy though c:
I boxed away my non-maternity clothes one at a time as they stopped fitting. First the pants and skirts, then the shirts, then the dresses (length is an issue- even if the dress is super flowy... it no longer goes to my knees!!). Now I am having to do the same process with my maternity clothes. Each week I pack one or two more things (pants a few weeks ago and shirts mostly these days) that no longer fit or cover up my bump. I am only 30 weeks along and my wardrobe is becoming scarce!

I already do the preggo-waddle.
A guy in the office next door to me said, "You're walking pretty gingerly these days." That was at 24 weeks and its only gotten worse.

Occasionally I don't fit places/do normal things.
On Sunday I tried to go into a bathroom stall at church that was too small-- I couldn't get in and close the door around my pregnant belly! I had to use another stall!
Two weeks ago, AJ and I got into the car. I reached my arm to close the door and couldn't reach! I was stuck in my chair and couldn't get enough momentum to propel me close enough to the door to close it either. AJ had to come around and close it for me!
I can no longer bend over in the car to "pop the trunk" open. AJ has to come around to the window and do it.
There is a bed at my mom and dad's house that I have deemed the dippy bed. This bed has a dip in the middle of the mattress and if you lay on the edge of the bed you sort of roll into the dip. Anyways- I can no longer sleep on the dippy bed because once I get into the dippy bed I cannot get out. I roll into the middle (stopped by my belly) and due to the angle cannot roll back over to get out. This becomes an inconvenience when I have to pee in the middle of the night and have to wake AJ up to help me out of bed. its pretty funny, actually.
I was sitting at the dinner table one day and Kaylie and Dallas were about to sit down. I moved over a chair so they could sit next to each other... but when I tried to sit down in my new chair I couldn't fit between the wall and the table! We had to scoot the table out a foot so that I could fit in that chair c:


These are the sort of things that have been my twin pregnancy normal for weeks, but probably won't happen until towards the end of my singleton pregnancies. Since I have never been pregnant before- I don't have any real life experiences to gauge the differences.
In some ways this makes the inconveniences easier because I don't know any better. c:

And despite being uncomfortable... I wouldn't change a thing.

Blessings from Week 29!!

WOW~ what a week!! Week 29 has brought some of the hardest and happiest times.

The hard stuff revolved around AJs work. His company has this amazing opportunity to go to Seattle for the semester and take part in a Microsoft accelerator program. Microsoft is providing full time employees to help Novi succeed. This all happened in a matter of two weeks and it forced us to make a major decision- do we move to Seattle or stay in Utah?

First let me mention that 3 Novi tem members are moving to Seattle and 3 team members are staying in Utah. We have decided to stay in Utah.

Monday and Tuesday were both focused on making and coming to terms with the decision. There were pros and cons for the decision to stay. Most of them revolved around AJs ability to grow with the company versus the complicated situation with the twins coming. We decided through prayer that we should stay in Utah- however that decision means that AJ takes a backseat role this semester while the Seattle guys take lead.

Initially this was really hard for AJ. Though the decision doesn't affect equity or pay, he felt gipped that by doing what is best for our family he had to give up leadership and responsibility at work. For two days we really struggled with this. Following the prompting to stay in Utah seemed like a punishment. However, once AJ spoke with the Wade (the CEO) he realized that taking a backseat this semester may be exactly what we need. He will want/need time to spend helping me with the babies. Also, by having less responsibility at work he is able to take paternity leave once the babies come (what what!!) and really enjoy learning how to be a dad.

I would have really struggled in Seattle- but we would have made it work. I am just grateful that we have been able to see the benefit for our family by staying in Utah. Once the Microsoft accelerator is over, AJ will take some of his responsibilities back and things will go back to normal... or as close to normal as we can get with twins c:

Blessings:
- My birthday was this week! I had so much fun- the day was the perfect mix of relaxing and fun-filled. First, I went to lunch with our cousin Christy and her daughter Abby! We tried a Thai place in Provo and it was awesome. The lunch special portion size was huge and I even had enough for... drumroll please... leftovers!
*note: I have not had leftovers in quite a while because I eat and eat and eat. c:
Then I took a nap which was wonderful, and afterwards Stefani Mortensen and I got a pedicure! It felt amazing. I have been dreaming of getting a pedicure for a while now to soothe my poor feet! It did not disappoint! I got a sparkly blue polish (cause I am having boys) and Stefani went craaazy and got green instead of her usual coral/pink. I loved spending time with her. Our husbands get along so well- sometimes I think they have the same brain- and the 4 of us love to hang out. It was good to spend some time with just Stefani, though. I am grateful we had the chance to develop our friendship independent of our husbands!!
When AJ got home from work- we went to the temple! This has become one of my favorite birthday activities and I think it is something we will continue to do for our whole lives. It is good to step out of the me-me-me attitude of birthdays and remember that its just another day. The temple does that for me- it helps me remember that there is so much more than presents and cake! 

- AJ and I had breakfast with my Aunt, Gayle, and cousins Abbey and Ethan! It was really nice to catch up and to get her advice on the whole Seattle situation. 
- As a surprise birthday gift, AJ planned a dinner with friends! He planned it for the day after my birthday so it really was a surprise c: Oh my oh my oh my it was so much fun!! We hung out in Kaylie and Dallas's backyard, ate Hawaiian haystacks, and played with the puppies. It was the perfect gift!! 

- We moved to my parents house in Logan, UT! It has been fun to hang out with my lil' sis Emma, chill on the porch with my puppy-doggie Sookie, and get things ready for the babies!! 

- Our frame stroller came!!! I am so excited for this thing- it fits folded up in our trunk and when it's in use the car seats clip in to frame. I love it! 

- I went to see my new OB in Logan. It went so incredibly well- I could not have asked for a better OB. He instilled confidence in my ability to carry these babies to 36 or 37 weeks! I feel on top of the world and I believe that these boys will be born big and healthy! 

Much love, 

G
 

Blessings from Week 28!!

WOW! 28 weeks.

The fact that I can say, "I am 28 weeks!" is a blessing in and of itself!! When I was put on bed rest at 22 weeks, I thought that 28 weeks seemed so far away. But hey hey hey I made it!

This week was AWESOME- nothing too amazing in particular happened... but just the general feeling of the week was wonderful.

- I had not one but two ultrasounds! I had one on Monday and the babies were looking healthy. I texted my OB about the babies and he asked me if I had seen the Maternal Fetal Medicine group at the hospital. I hadn't been to see them and he was really surprised- i think its time you go in- he said. Apparently I should have gone in to see them a while ago....... oops. c: He scheduled an appointment for me.
Basically the MFM group does more in depth ultrasounds for high risk pregnancies. With the twins sharing a placenta they are at risk for something called Twin to Twin Transfusion... therefore I am considered high risk.  
The ultrasound with the MFM went really well!! The babies were stubborn and wouldn't show their faces- so the tech had to dig into me (which hurt) but they are big and healthy! 3 lbs and 2 lbs 11 oz!! I am ecstatic! They also show no signs of Twin to Twin Transfusion! I am feeling so blessed with not only how healthy I feel but also with how healthy these babies are. Life is happy and good.
- No more bed rest! I was officially given the go ahead to live my life normally again!! The OB also said that I can go on a 20 minute walk per day! It feels so wonderful!
- I also spoke with my OB about moving up to Logan. Call me crazy... but we have come to the conclusion that moving now makes WAY more sense than waiting for the babies to be born before we move up. I mean... moving not only ourselves but two babies and their stuff and trying to get it all set up right after they are born? no way jose. I asked the OB about moving- gave him the pros and cons of it- and asked his advice.
He said to go for it! 
His reasoning is that the support we will get in Logan with family (especially in the latter part of my pregnancy) will be crucial. He also mentioned that I have to develop a relationship with a new OB anyways (sadly, he is switching clinics) and so now is a great time to make the move. I am so glad I received his support- it makes the move so much easier!
- My aunt gave us deeeelicious peaches which I used to make peach raspberry cobbler!!!!!!! Oh my oh my oh my delicious. It didn't last very long.
- My niece Clara turned 3! She is just the cutest thing on the planet and in a few days will have a baby brother! I CANNOT WAIT!!
- I had brunch with my friend Sarah Riley! We lived kitty corner to each other for almost a year- and we didn't realize it until just a few months ago! I wish we had realized it earlier/taken advantage of the close proximity before because now I am moving to Logan and she is moving to Washington... so I am bummed that we won't be closer.
- AJ and I went to see our friend Stefani at her BYU dance major Senior Showcase! She choreographed the opening piece- it incorporated dance and the visual arts. Her dancers were drawn live by artists on stage. It was awesome! Stefani also danced in the last number. She really is a gorgeous dancer.
- Sunday was just the perfect day. AJ and I got home from church and spent the evening just relaxing. We watched the movie Fireproof, which was wonderful. It really made us grateful for our relationship and grateful for our faith.

All in all it was a great week!
c:

It Poured Cats and Dogs and Blessings in Week 27!!!

Here's why::

- I felt just plain old healthy! I mean my feet hurt a lot- but otherwise I felt great! I love feeling happy and healthy! I think this has something to do with my new mantra "Positive Thoughts!" I've come to realize that positive thinking can relieve stress and help my mind focus on how good I feel. The past few months I've been so stressed and scared about the worst-case scenario that I haven't really been able to focus on feeling good. This week I decided that attitude is everything- and it worked for me. C:

- the boys kicked a LOT this week. I love feeling them punch my organs! It means they are growing stronger.

- I had an ultrasound today in preparation for week 28-- the boys are doing well! Baby A is 2lbs13oz and Baby B is 2lbs5oz. Baby A is vertex and spread out all over my left side which leaves little room for Baby B! He is scrunched with his legs up by his face! Poor boy! His butt is in Baby A's face though- I think that's pretty good payback! 

Baby A profile

Baby B profile

- we had our Hyde Park baby shower and it was wonderful! I love the support of the ward up there! I lived in that ward for the summer after my freshman year at BYU and since have been to visit only. Still the ward is so generous and kind to us! The friendships I made years ago with the relief society members is still strong and I was amazed at the love and excitement they showered us with! Not to mention the good food! 

(Side note: I love the boys in my family! My dad, AJ, and Ryan all came to the shower. Ryan was initially grumpy gills because it was an all girl shower-not by necessity, just because I didn't think boys liked baby showers. When my sister arrived, she told me that Ryan wanted to come and so we called him! It was so fun to have the boys there- and I think I will do co-ed baby showers from now on! It was fun to celebrate with AJ and not just be the sole recipient of love and well-wishes!!!!)

- we have received generous help in so many ways throughout this pregnancy! This week we felt especially grateful for a note that a good friend left. I am amazed constantly how people are inspired to do/say exactly the thing that we needed- God is good and He inspires people. We are blessed to be surrounded by people who follow spiritual promptings. 

- I got compression socks! My feet have been swollen and sore for too long! I ordered some socks online and then Kaylie (remember the awesome couple we are living with) saw a great deal on compression socks when she was buying scrubs!! So I was able to save some money! Wahoo wahoo!! 

- while we were in Logan this weekend we got to spend some good time with family! On Saturday we all went to brunch! My little sister is prepping for college and has been working a crazy loco amount! I was so happy she had Saturday morning off and we were all able to be together! We went to Herm's and I got corned beef and hash. Oh my saliva! It was so so so good. I could eat that every day and never get sick of it! C:

- church was moved to 12:30pm! This past year our ward started at 8:00 am and AJs meetings started at 7am! Now his meetings start at 10am! We are lucky dogs able to sleep in! 

- I found a way to use the leftover green cabbage in curry! It's been sitting in our fridge for a while because I only have one recipe that I use green cabbage for....but we found a way! And it actually tasted delicious in the curry- I may make it a permanent addition! 

- my birthday is next week- just looking forward to it made me happy! 

- we had Sunday dinner with the Parker's! We had a great gospel discussion and I was so grateful for their insights into certain topics. I definitely learned a lot! 

- my hair looked great the other day ... And I didn't even do a thing. I got out of the shower, brushed my hair, and put it in a bun. When I took it out it looked like I had curled it and I felt great! I'm going to try to duplicate the look! 

- it's August! 

- ALSO-- it literally poured cats and dogs here in Provo!! I love the sound of a storm. It reminds me of growing up in Indiana... Man oh man it makes me happy! 

Basically I'm just a happy camper. Feeling super blessed, healthy, and happy. I know as we focus on the good things, we see more and more of the good things! Isn't that amazing? 

Love, 

G