Motherhood Is Not For the Faint of Heart

What am I doing here- binge watching Gilmore Girls in a pediatric hospital room listening to baby Dean breathe?

Man, this RSV stuff sucks. 

He has been sick for a few days and we were managing it. Humidifier. Snot sucking. Sitting in the steamy bathroom. Snot sucking. Taking him outside to breathe in the cold air. Repeat. 

Mack had been sick the week before but the doctor said it was a mild case of croup and we shouldn't worry. So naturally I assumed that's what Dean had when he started showing symptoms. 

Then yesterday morning his breaths were so shallow that I just knew I needed to take him to the doctor. We drove to the urgent care and I pulled him out of the car seat. 

Oh my gosh, did I accidentally brings Mack?

No, no, I brought Dean. Whoo! The next thing I know we are called back to the office. Mental note to self: the wait time is significantly reduced when an infant is involved. 

The doctor did his thing and ordered some tests: RSV, flu, pneumonia. Tested positive for RSV, negative for flu, x-Ray showed pneumonia in his right lung. BTW-- Baby x-Rays are no fun. He was basically stuck in a tube with his arms above his head to keep him from moving during the procedure. I could live a hundred more years and be perfectly content never having to watch my baby go through that again. 

So with that wonderful diagnosis we set on a day's journey of going back and forth to the hospital's ROC (respiratory outpatient care) center. 3 times in less than 24 hours. Each time his stats were lower until this morning the doctor said his stats were too low to send him home. Thus Dean was admitted to the hospital. 

It's been a miserable two days on my end. I see my sweet baby suctioned out and strapped in and prodded. His eyes are red and he is so sleepy but barely gets any rest. He is hungry, I can tell, but can't breathe which keeps him from eating even a decent amount of food. So he is cat napping and snacking in a vicious 20-30 minute cycle. My headaches have been rampant (better now thanks to modern medicine) and I miss my husband (who is out of town on business until tomorrow). 

Rough rough day. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. 

I am so grateful for my mom, Emma, and Ashley Anne for taking care of Mack. I am grateful for the doctors and nurses who are taking such good care of Dean. I am grateful that Mack isn't in the hospital. I am grateful that baby Dean is being such a trooper. 

I just can't wait for him to get better. I can't wait for AJ to get home. And I've decided that once this whole experience is over- I am going to the spa. 

Much love,

G