The CRAZIEST WEEK OF OUR LIVES

This is an email that I wrote to my brother, Elder Grant Fuller, who is on a mission in Washington D.C.

He originally entitled his email on Monday the "CRAZIEST WEEK OF MY LIFE"... So I guess we were going crazy all over the USofA! 

My emotions were really raw in this email, which is why I copied it directly instead of trying to rewrite it. These are some of the lessons I have learned in the past 4 (wow has it really only been 4??) days since we found out about the twins! 

Grant-

I didn't think your email was lame at all. Short, yes... but powerful. Thank you for sharing that experience where you learned about yourself and the Atonement. I loved it.

AJ and I have also had the CRAZIEST WEEK OF OUR LIVES... and I am not being over dramatic (though sometimes I can be).

We went in for my 20 week ultrasound to find out gender....

and.....

We found out that there are TWO babies growing inside of me!

Yes- twins!!!!!! I am not joking or lying (mom thought I was lying).

We are having TWO BOYS-- and they are most likely identical because they share a placenta. IDENTICAL TWIN BOYS... what the whaaaat?

I am honestly still shocked that we didn't know earlier. haha! How did we go 20 weeks before we found out that there are two babies inside of me? IDK- but it happened!

Naturally our lives turned upside down. I have really had to rely on Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ this week.

Initially I felt so overwhelmed. I couldn't think straight and I just basically allowed my brain to turn off. I have spent the last few months preparing for one baby. ONE BABY. And you know my brain is similar to moms where I need a plan. I had a perfect, pretty, packaged plan all prepared for one baby. Everything was lined up timing wise, financially, and everything was going to go the way I had planned.

Then the ultrasound tech told us we were having TWO babies.

Now- when you have twins- apparently everything changes. Expected due dates, expected physical activity, expected ability to work after baby, expected recovery time, expected COST....the size of home you need, the additional support you need, the amount of calories you need to eat per day. It ALL changes.

At first, that change was too much for me. I felt so overwhelmed, Grant, I didn't know what to do. Everyone was so shocked and excited for us... but I was terrified. Luckily we have a loving Heavenly Father who inspires people to do/say much needed things to help us when life is too much.

-Both Spencer and Mom both shared how God will never give us more than we can handle. He might take us to the edge of our abilities a couple times... but it is never too much. I am so grateful that I was reminded of this early on. I've said that to myself probably a hundred times since Tuesday.

-A few close friends shared particularly needed words of encouragement. And not all of them directly included the twin news. Some friends just shared how grateful they were for our friendship and how I had helped them through such a hard time in their life. That helped me remember that God gives us people in our lives to help us when we need it most. He doesn't expect us to deal with our lives alone in a corner! Friends and family play essential roles in our lives to help us overcome the things that might debilitate us.

-I had a particularly poignant conversation with a fellow seminary teacher. He reminded me that this is a chance to put my trust in God. Not to put my trust in my planner or my abilities as a mother... but to really and truly place all of my faith in Him. I have been praying a lot about what he said to me- and I know that Heavenly Father is asking me to rely on Him and our Savior through this time. I also know that as I learn to do so- He will bless us. Everything will work out because He will bless us.

-Also, we went to the temple. Tuesday night, after the ultrasound, AJ and I went with some friends. I felt very powerfully that despite being sad about not teaching next year, I will be using the skills I have learned as a teacher every day with these boys. I will have the opportunity to grow as a person and a mother and a teacher. AJ and I have been prepared for this. With AJs company, the fact that we didn't get a puppy (even though I wanted one SOOOO bad), the fact that we felt inspired to stay at our apartment instead of moving to another one where we would be stuck in a lease, the fact that the past two weeks have been filled with spiritual growth due to seminary in-service training and personal study... He really prepared us.

-Additionally, I have felt an overwhelming sense of support from random people around me. I have met a few families with twins in the past few days (seminary training was a beautiful experience where I met a lot of parents of multiples) and they all helped me with advice. Some even offered to give/loan us things we will need!!! I mean- I have been so grateful for the sense of community there is between families with multiples and the church in general. We have felt SO blessed.

Despite all of my learning and growing this week. I still need time and work to become what Heavenly Father wants from me at this time. I still fall into debilitated stress zones. I still freak out about the future. I still feel sad that I will no longer get to teach. I still forget to drink a camel load of water.... but everything will work out. And when I feel stressed out of my mind- I just remind myself of the good things happening and our Savior makes me stronger.

I love you. I love you I love you I love you!

You are such a good example to me. Keep up the honorable and great work!

Love,

Grace, Baby A, and Baby B!